What a ride this is. I didn't realise that de-cluttering was a disconnection to that which is not me.
Could de-cluttering be caused by something else?
I have come to realise over the last few weeks (hence my distraction from this blog) that 'I' am not my house, 'I' am not my clothes, 'I' am not the 'me' I have created... or should I say my emotions have created. I am not any of that.
And where the heck did all that come from? I am coming to learn that this 'me' came from many directions including my parents, my biological roots, my experiences and probably the collective lineage of life. No wonder it can feel like I am not driving this bus sometimes.
Disconnecting from the material world has either started this journey or been a consequence of something unconsciously stirring from within.
Either way it has opened a door way through which my scared little child is walking.
I am no different to anyone else on the awareness journey. I have fears, doubts, excitements and joys. AND I have a pain-body (I like to call Mrs p-body) that is engaged at the slightest trigger and seduces my emotions and mind into dancing with the ego. Once I identify with any of it... I am in the game of the ego. And of late it has full on.
Realising I am NOT what I observe has been a
great reminder of all that which I have known before. But it appears that having what I want and opening my heart in all it's glory has stirred the sleeping tiger. This has had me somewhat possessed by the pain-body full on. I am on the journey back home.
I have discovered that material consumerism has been my escape from living with myself. I can't stand that side of me that has appeared and taken over.
Even my reaction to it is part of it. How strange this game is. So to observe it and become fully aware is what I am up for. Perhaps I will share more of it here if folks are interested.
What's next for me is to observe, to see just what is really going on. And that which I can observe is not the 'I am'. I will discover the real self and uncover the created me. And I expect the pain-body will transmute into a world I am yet to discover. The rock will become the crystal. Hanging with the tension will lead the way.
The real game is happening.
Cheers from Deb (suffering, seeking and surrendering to the truth... one gone-ski at a time)
What went out - 15 items
9 handbags that I just don't use anymore. Some I actually have never used. Mostly gifts from others as I don't really buy bags that often. I also tossed out 2 tops and 4 workshop packs.
What came in - 4 items
2 pairs of work shoes, 1 ceramic pot and a plant. I could stop there and not share the shoes story... but I won't. Here is what happened...lol.
I bought a pair of red shoes a while back for work. They were on sale from $249 to %99 form Eco...very well made and very comfortable. I wear them often at work and they are very comfortable and are an excellent quality... not like some of the cheap shit I have bought in the past. The problem was when I bought them I could have bought a second pair for 50%...but didn't . WTF!!! Why didn't I get the black as well!!?? Anyway I dropped by the store JUST IN CASE the black ones were still there... and they were!!! So I bought them and another great pair of closed in shoes for winter...equally high quality and 50% for second pair. All in all I bought over $450 worth of shoes for $150 and I expect to get lots of wears out of them and for them to last for years.
INSIGHTS
(1) I am not 'me'
(2) If this happening to me, everyone I met that is not in their hearts is swept up by their pain-body. Empathy emerges from my heart.
(3) Getting rid of the triggers of my pain are not the answer... not identifying with it, is.
TOTAL: OUT - 1000 IN - 128 (whoohoo!! we hit 1000)
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
A busy end of week, a great weekend in Sydney, hanging out with my daughter, snuggling with my man and catching up with friends had me slip off the gone-ski wagon without a care in the world. AND THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE!! Nothing matters.
Why doesn't it matter if I stuff up?
It has taken me a long time to realise nothing matters. I know, we could sit here and argue this point all day. And that wouldn't matter either. So let me tell why I say 'nothing matters'
The present moment is all there is. Being in the present moment is all we are meant to live. Some of us spend most of our lives regretting the past, some of us spend most of our lives worrying about the future. Rarely do we soak in the actual moment of now. The funny thing is, this is the only real moment. The past and future are your 'version' of life, not actual reality.
As you know, I am happy to make mistakes, learn, stuff up, explore and discover more about myself in every moment. It's like a big experiment. So if and when I do stuff up, I just accept it and move on. I don't deny it, I don't hide from it, I don't try to sugar coat it... I just accept it. This hasn't always been easy to do. Perhaps it is an age thing that has enabled me to do this, or perhaps a level of courage that has been nurtured and grown by sharing experiences with others. Who knows?
Any-who... back to 'nothing matters'. What this means to me is, regardless of what happens it doesn't really matter... because... and wait for it... IT IS DONE. Move on. It doesn't matter if you spilt the milk. It doesn't matter if you hurt someone. It doesn't matter if you won the lottery. It doesn't matter if you act like an idiot. IT DOESN'T MATTER. What matters is what you do next in the present moment. And then that doesn't matter either.
At the end of the day it is all about finding your true reflection of self and sharing this with the world. This includes being humble. Being able to accept you stuffed up and realising it doesn't matter. That your next actions are what count. Your honest acceptance of self and others. All of this leads us to the understanding that life is a series of trials and errors on the journey of discovery. And we can either enjoy the journey, the loves, the laughs, the falls, the wins and the losses... or we can just sit down, stop trying, and give up. NAH!!! It is too good to miss.
PS - for those folks that still like to point out peoples foibles or let them know 'it's just your stuff'.. or 'it's just a story'.. or other half wise (righteous) comments... consider backing off a little and simply focus on your own journey. Allowing people to discover life in their own way, in their own time is a gift worth giving. And just maybe, be kind to yourself also. We are all students of life.
Cheers from Deb (back in the saddle....giddy up!!)
What went out - 9 items
A mix of bibs and bobs... no defined area reviewed, simply a collection of items from around the house.
What came in - 7 items
I picked up the 'shungite' ring I had on layby... yay!! Found 3 items for my work wardrobe (two short groovy business jackets I will wear over dresses and a Ted Baker trench coat), a pair of green suede kick-ass shoes, a merino wool jumper and shrug for Sammi - all from an op shop (for less than $100)
INSIGHTS
(1) Other peoples journeys are simply that
(2) Nothing matters really
(3) As long as there is chocolate all will be ok
TOTAL: OUT - 985 IN - 124
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
I finally bit the bullet and turfed out all the odd socks. 22 odd socks have been hanging around waiting for their friends... OMG!!
Where do all the odd socks go?
This is a true mystery. I held on to these odd socks expecting their partners to appear somewhere... anywhere! I have moved them around for I don't know how long. From drawers to baskets, back into drawers, back into baskets. How crazy. And here is the funny part, they're not even nice socks. LOL .
The amount of time and energy that has been sucked into the sock vortex is hilarious. Even now this blog spends time on them. They are clearly taking over my life....oh no, save me!! LOL.
I have added 3 pairs of socks to my wish-list. Not just boring old Bonds socks... I am thinking something a little more special. I will keep my eye out for them. Actually that is fairly difficult given I don't go shopping these days.
Here's an idea. What if I put together a focussed shopping day. I have a few things in mind from my wish-list. One of those things is a new quilt cover for our bed. I am thinking that something more colourful and interesting... definitely in deep blood red colours. Oh yeah! Game face on.
I will book it in some time down the track... and keep you posted.
As for the socks in the bin... gone-ski. And the space I get back is approximately 25cm x 25cm from the office as this is how big the basket was that held the socks. Miss Sammi has claimed it for her room. My bet is that this basket is soon to reach the gone-ski pile too.
The unanswered question is: Where do all those socks go? Anybody know the answer?
Cheers from Deb (chief little big steps and matching socks)
What went out - 24 items
2 Lanyards and 22 odd socks.
What came in - 0 items
Doing the smarty pants dance
INSIGHTS
(1) The socks vortex is a one way pipeline
(2) Nobody darns socks these days... do they?
TOTAL: OUT - 976 IN - 117
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
As I take small steps on this journey I realise how big the leaps are that I am taking.
The steps I take on the non-consumerism journey are changing everything!
I am finding that every step I take on the small things in life, other areas are shifting along with it. Of course! This is because 'I' am shifting... every fibre of my being is shifting the way I see and do life. It has nothing to do with the de-cluttering, it has nothing to do with not shopping, it has nothing to do with the clean space we are creating. It has everything to do with the internal shift of my world.
I know I bang on about 'awareness', but it really is a key to changing life for the better. This means self observation, noticing and acknowledging the things that are working and those things that are not. Awareness is my best friend. By accepting all things I notice, not judging, and accepting my humanness is a great way to play this game. It is not always easy or feel like forward motion... and like de-cluttering your home, it can get worse before it gets better. Awareness is the key... have I said that enough yet... sorry! (LOL)
I have found that by focussing on small things I get big results. This is because of a concept called 'context switching'. It is backed up by science to explains what happens to our time when we juggle more than one thing. For example, if you are juggling:
- two things your productivity is around 40% on each (20% wasted overall)
- three things your productivity is around 20% on each (40% wasted overall)
- four things your productivity is around 10% on each (60% wasted overall)
- five things your productivity is around 5% on each (75% wasted overall)
The concept of small steps is something I believe could change lives. Too many of the positive affirmation, new age, rah rah crowd set massive goals and get completely hoodwinked by their own egos. They flog themselves and feel like they will never make it. But as we know all journeys start with just one step...and one step only.
Breaking it all down into small steps and taking them until finished is the key. This is why I only remove a minimum of one item each day from the house. This is why I just focus on not bringing anything into the home. Achievable, small steps that make a massive difference. AND I don't beat myself up if I can't get to it.
It is the insights that are spilling over into all areas of my life that's surprising me. In some way it is showing me how off the path I have been for so long. But I am not into self-judgement or regret as I have said. I'd rather turn my face to the sun and move my feet on the next steps.
Another thing I have noticed is the time I am creating. It is showing in my work diary, my home life, my sleep and my social life. Fantastic!
Cheers from Deb (chief little big steps)
What went out - 7 items
2 of those power-point protectors for kids, 5 metal hinged handles (don't ask my...lol)
What came in - 0 items
Lovin' it
INSIGHTS
(1) Small steps equal massive results
(2) When you finish a small step, your celebration motivates more steps
(3) I love quality chocolate but only in small doses... what is that!!??
TOTAL: OUT - 952 IN - 117
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
I am gobsmacked at the amount of crap I have. OMG!! It is crazy.
What would a South African child say?
When Jerry and I toured South Africa with a bunch of friends back in 2012 we were part of a private tour visiting the real side of this country, not the tourist spots.
It touched my heart so deeply. I didn't feel sad or feel compelled to help anyone. I could see the joy in their hearts and I it was clear that having nothing enabled great gratitude for love, connection and the simple pleasures in life. It touched my heart to see and feel the love of this country and the groundedness of the people.
We saw people happy to carry a brick for miles back to their small 10 x 10 metre space with their shack, most without windows, some without roofs. We saw them all decorated with their individual beauty. Such pride for their homes. We loved how they all communed to cook and eat. And the kids just played... gorgeous.
This highlighted to me the strange part world I have come from. Civilised apparently, Really? Makes you think, doesn't it?
This 'jump off the consumer train' is bringing back all those memories. I believe I am moving to something new and it's important to clear out the old. I can feel it deep inside my heart.
This leads me onto the real story here....
This is the story of trust. For some reason I trust that which I don't know. Doesn't mean it doesn't scare me, doesn't mean I have to believe it... but I do trust it. As I watch the course of my journey unfold I can see it clearing a path for something new, something requiring space, something important.
I'm not going to bang on here about it being something big, life changing, or grandiose.. that would be the new age ego built from course goers of Anthony Robbins etc. No this is something for me... something important to my heart.
Trust is an interesting concept. To trust is to let go and allow that which you love, to appear. I find that when I set my heart in motion and get out of the way, real things happen. And to be honest it often appears the journey is off course but something inside knows and in this I trust. I soon find the light and the grand plan is revealed. Whenever I am unsure I simply sit still, connect with my heart and check-in to see if we are on track. So far, so good.
There are currently changes in all areas of my life. This blog is a expression of these changes.
Feels a little like I am on an 'Eat, Pray, Love' adventure. I have found the love of my life... but I think it might be a deep dive into my own soul. Gosh, that sounds a little deep...lol.
Cheers from Deb (Eating, praying and soaking in the love... with bubbles of course)
What went out - 8 items
3 perfumes (never used), 2 empty boxes, 1 bracelet, 2 skirts.
Maybe I should package all this stuff up and send to South Africa... bam!! YES!!
What came in - 0 items
High five
INSIGHTS
(1) Happiness is not a result of stuff
(2) Love comes in many forms
(3) Trust is deeper knowing from a quiet place inside
TOTAL: OUT - 945 IN - 117
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
Every action impacts the whole. Whoa!! That's pretty deep isn't it?!
Why bother?.. well let me tell you why.
If you slow the inward flow and at the same time de-clutter the space you occupy, life changes. You feel better, your food taste nicer, your sex life improves, you sleep deeper, your connection to self grows, your view of life shifts and your relationship with others deepens.
Let me give you an example...
When I came across the Occupy Wall Street movement I had a reaction. I thought it was as equally bad an idea as those they were trying to bring down.
My view is this... if you rip this system down quickly it is not the dudes at the top that will get hurt, it is the mums and dads working in these corporations, earning a living, feeding their families etc that will crumble. Imagine the impact of all the banks shutting down tomorrow. All their employees, their families and friends will be shattered... emotionally, financially and spiritually. AND all of us are impacted...just think about it.
This would bring down and possibly destroy the fabric of society. Then what?
My view is, we need to slowly unplug from the corporatized co-dependent consumer culture. This will enable the market to respond and refocus supply to the new demands. It's that simple.
So my question to me is... what am I demanding from the market?
Am I demanding clean, fresh, real food... or do I continue to demand processed, non-seasonal goods? Am I demanding sustainable products made without harm to the environment or people... or do I look for cheap unsustainable products?
You get the picture.
When we each shift, we impact those around us. It is sometimes referred to as the 'butterfly effect'. It's a part of chaos theory... makes sense? (yes...go to google).
We shift a culture by the choices we make. We are human beings and can only take one step at a time. My goal is to make good choices and unravel this mess.... SLOWLY!!!
Cheers from Deb (Captain of the 'let's consider the whole as we shift' team)
What went out - 3 items
A few small boxes in the office cupboard (it's like a clown car...seriously!!)
What came in - 1 items
A photo jacket vest for Jerry... from the wish-list
INSIGHTS
(1) Riot mentality won't resolve big issues
(2) Every choice I make impacts us all
(3) I love apples (real, local, fresh and non-GMO)
TOTAL: OUT - 937 IN - 117
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
Not much time so I scurried into the office and found two empty boxes that we just don't need.
It feels like a clown car at our place...seriously!
It is astonishing how much 'stuff' we are getting rid of and we still have shed loads more. I wonder how different it would be if other people had to do this for us. What about all those people who have to clear out their parents homes because of various circumstances.
My dad recently moved into a nursing home. As I walk around my parents home, where my mum still lives, I wonder about all the 'things' they have. My dads workshop, stocked with everything a handy man would ever think of using, has sat still since his stroke in December 2006. I think about the waste here. These items could be used by young men without the funds to get this stuff... or it could go to a men's shed to be used by a bunch of folks. But instead it sits still with not a breath of air passing through. Makes you stop and think.
I don't know how my mum is going to clear all this out or whether she ever will. We talk about it being moved out, sold etc but understandably she just doesn't see the next step. My heart goes out to her as she sits in the grief of the loss of her life partner. Not easy... not kind, not anything we want in our lives.
I have a friend who coaches older folks in this transition period. I salute her work as she carries their hearts and clears some of their life long possessions into the next phase of life.
Imagine if I could outsource my gone-ski journey. What would the brief be? I've just got an idea... how about I give a brief to myself...could I follow it?
Dear de-clutterer (me),
Here are my requirements for this job. Please ensure you follow these regardless of the bitching and moaning I will do, regardless of the irrational thoughts and arguments I make, and most importantly... no laughing!!
Please get rid of anything that does not get a YES:
- If I didn't own it, would I buy it?
- Did I use this in the last 2 years?
- Will I use this in the next 2 years?
- Does it align to our philosophies?
- Is it part of our spiritual framework?
- Will my heart be broken if this is gone?
Here are some non valid reasons to keep things:
- My mum, daughter, hubby, best friend etc gave it to me (big list.. and nothing here I have chosen so it is now my choice whether it stays of goes)
- I used to love it (and we change...right?)
- I may use it one day (yeah right...pants on fire)
- It cost heaps (I've already spent the money...this is a non-argument)
- Just because (sounds valid...NOT!!)
Ok...sign here!!
Cheers from Deb (I don't sign anything without my attorney seeing it first)
What went out - 2 items
2 useless boxes
What came in - 0 items
On a roll
INSIGHTS
(1) Ownership is a myth ... for when we die we return to dust without our Jimmy Choos
(2) Stopping the flow in is the critical success factor for this journey
(3) I need to help my mum through this
TOTAL: OUT - 934 IN - 116
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
