What a ride this is. I didn't realise that de-cluttering was a disconnection to that which is not me.
Could de-cluttering be caused by something else?
I have come to realise over the last few weeks (hence my distraction from this blog) that 'I' am not my house, 'I' am not my clothes, 'I' am not the 'me' I have created... or should I say my emotions have created. I am not any of that.
And where the heck did all that come from? I am coming to learn that this 'me' came from many directions including my parents, my biological roots, my experiences and probably the collective lineage of life. No wonder it can feel like I am not driving this bus sometimes.
Disconnecting from the material world has either started this journey or been a consequence of something unconsciously stirring from within.
Either way it has opened a door way through which my scared little child is walking.
I am no different to anyone else on the awareness journey. I have fears, doubts, excitements and joys. AND I have a pain-body (I like to call Mrs p-body) that is engaged at the slightest trigger and seduces my emotions and mind into dancing with the ego. Once I identify with any of it... I am in the game of the ego. And of late it has full on.
Realising I am NOT what I observe has been a
great reminder of all that which I have known before. But it appears that having what I want and opening my heart in all it's glory has stirred the sleeping tiger. This has had me somewhat possessed by the pain-body full on. I am on the journey back home.
I have discovered that material consumerism has been my escape from living with myself. I can't stand that side of me that has appeared and taken over.
Even my reaction to it is part of it. How strange this game is. So to observe it and become fully aware is what I am up for. Perhaps I will share more of it here if folks are interested.
What's next for me is to observe, to see just what is really going on. And that which I can observe is not the 'I am'. I will discover the real self and uncover the created me. And I expect the pain-body will transmute into a world I am yet to discover. The rock will become the crystal. Hanging with the tension will lead the way.
The real game is happening.
Cheers from Deb (suffering, seeking and surrendering to the truth... one gone-ski at a time)
What went out - 15 items
9 handbags that I just don't use anymore. Some I actually have never used. Mostly gifts from others as I don't really buy bags that often. I also tossed out 2 tops and 4 workshop packs.
What came in - 4 items
2 pairs of work shoes, 1 ceramic pot and a plant. I could stop there and not share the shoes story... but I won't. Here is what happened...lol.
I bought a pair of red shoes a while back for work. They were on sale from $249 to %99 form Eco...very well made and very comfortable. I wear them often at work and they are very comfortable and are an excellent quality... not like some of the cheap shit I have bought in the past. The problem was when I bought them I could have bought a second pair for 50%...but didn't . WTF!!! Why didn't I get the black as well!!?? Anyway I dropped by the store JUST IN CASE the black ones were still there... and they were!!! So I bought them and another great pair of closed in shoes for winter...equally high quality and 50% for second pair. All in all I bought over $450 worth of shoes for $150 and I expect to get lots of wears out of them and for them to last for years.
INSIGHTS
(1) I am not 'me'
(2) If this happening to me, everyone I met that is not in their hearts is swept up by their pain-body. Empathy emerges from my heart.
(3) Getting rid of the triggers of my pain are not the answer... not identifying with it, is.
TOTAL: OUT - 1000 IN - 128 (whoohoo!! we hit 1000)
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
We are all in this together, colluding in this complex system called life.
Our relationship with tension determines our success in life
There is a functional relationship with tension that stimulates our imagination and our creativity. Look at puzzles, art, music, jokes, home project, something new etc. Anything that causes a discrepancy, generates tension.
It is our relationship with tension that then causes the end result (positive or negative).
I know you probably re-read that last statement once or twice more... and some of you are still wondering what the heck I am on about. Hang in there with me.
Let me give you an example. Say for instance that I am a perfectionist (BTW this example is about someone I know... no really, it is)... and I need my home to look hotel perfect. Then I would constantly see 'stuff' in my home that is different to how I think it should be. This is the discrepancy. So I would experience a tension. This tension would demand action to resolve it. Some may clean, some may rearrange, some may hide the non-perfect items, some may go shopping to upgrade. Once the tension is resolved, life can go on.
I believe my relationship with tension has resulted in me participating in the consumerism culture. A whole host of tensions have driven me over the years... and mostly I was unaware till now. Doing this year long challenge has brought all of them to the surface. I love this because I get an opportunity to see them. And even this creates tension.
The way I deal with this now is, I simply don't resolve it. I let it be. It is not a real thing. It is my relationship to the discrepancy. Over many years I have developed a great relationship with tension. So now when I see 'stuff' online, at friends places, when I can't find something to wear, need something I don't have etc I just let it be and don't go into action to resolve it.
This totally disconnects me from that consumerism culture. Instead I use my functional creative side to resolve the tension in favour of how I choose to live.
How does this relate to the gone-ski pile?
Instead of resolving the tension of the long day by watching TV and numbing out, I will jump up and go through a box of stuff and continue this clear out.
Instead of going op shopping on the weekend, I will spend quality time doing something my family wants to do. We are seeing more movies, going out to the beach, playing board games, reading books etc. You get the picture.
Small changes lead to BIG results.
Cheers from Deb (hanging out with my good buddy, Mr Tension)
What went out - 1 items
An old Metronome that was lent to us by a friend who told me to pass it along
What came in - 2 items
More DVDs arrived in the post. Jerry said "I'm not helping am I honey?".. we laughed. Then he responded "they were on the wish-list". Oh yeah right, pull that card out!
INSIGHTS
(1) The time between unconscious tension and (re) actions is expanding and allowing conscious choices more often.
(2) I want to make a cake on the weekend... maybe lemon and yogurt. YUM!!!
TOTAL: OUT - 808 IN - 116
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
A quick one today... nothing really to report.
Device Distraction Disorder
I coined this phrase at work when holding meetings and watching people on their devices. I call attention to it as I point to my laptop, my personal iPhone 5 and my work iPhone 6 plus. We all laugh, but the truth is this distraction is disconnecting us from being present.
Distractions are a way to escape the discomforts of life. TV, alcohol, social media etc are all obvious ones. Being aware is the key. Like anything we do in life, awareness helps us navigate with intention.
Which brings me to todays 'Hans Christian Anderson' moment. Where does all the old tech go? In a box in our cupboard of course! You know the box. The one with the cords, old iPhones, broken (just in case) ear-buds, storage devices no one has readers for, floppy discs (no, really?!), and other stuff we don't know what it's used for. Have you got one of those?
Any-who... (change of subject)
The last two nights have been social nights out for us. We loved it. Dinner with great friends, a farewell to a colleague after work and staying in the city overnight results in no gone-ski items for two days. Does this bother me... nah!
We will get back to it.
Have a brilliant day
Cheers from Deb (tired and looking forward to a sleep in)
What went out - 0 items
Zip (a-dee-do-dah)
What came in - 0 items
Naught (ty)
INSIGHTS
(1) No matter how committed you are, a night with friends, good food, fine wine and a sleep over cannot be overlooked as a spectacular excuse not to gone-ski items.
(2) Note to self... SLEEP IN TOMRROW!!
TOTAL: OUT - 796 IN - 76
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
It only takes 5 minutes a day to get into the habit of clearing out the clutter.
Clearing out is the easy part
Stopping the incoming items is the hardest part. The idiom 'nature abhors a vacuum' explains the tension 'naturally' generated when we deem a space empty. It is about redefining the space.
Is it empty or is it open and clear? What does a clear, clean space mean to you? How does it feel? Where will you put the time you used to invest in moving, cleaning and dealing with the clutter? What passion have you got inside your heart that now can be explored?
A reduction of items coming in has meant a big difference to us. We use our time differently. We use our space differently. We appreciate our things so much more.
This journey is changing our lives in a lovely, slow and permanent way.
Have you been inspired? Share your experience here (my blog's facebook group)https://www.facebook.com/groups/427233054096059/
Cheers from Deb (soaking in gratitude)
What went out - 7 items
One pair of shoes and 6 pieces of clothing from Jerry's wardrobe (his choices)
What came in - 0 items
Nothing again...loving this.
INSIGHTS
(1) The definition of clear space impacts how you use it
(2) Stuff has no value what so ever. The way we use stuff makes it valuable.
TOTAL: OUT - 792 IN - 76
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
It is amazing how without a conscious choice to clear out the clutter, I would have continued to not see the amount of 'stuff' I had brought into my life simply because I was not looking.
Awareness is the first step to any change...but boy does it hurt!!
I am always surprised, embarrassed, angry, sad, determined, reflective and often regretful when I see another part of my shadow nature. But the truth is, nothing really matters.
The most important thing is that I keep going. That I keep unfolding this construct I have created which has me unconsciously make choices that in no way support my true nature. It is never easy...if it was we would be done with this journey over the weekend.
One way to enjoy the journey more is to do it with a friend or a loving partner. When you are able to share your journey, your insights, your feelings with another it is rather special. Tell a friend what you are planning on doing and share your journey with them as you discover more about yourself.
What went out - 6 items
Today I found 1 skirt (that I just don't wear) and 5 costume jewellery rings that have lost there lustre.
What came in - 0 items
Darn proud of this and I am finding I am very conscious about purchasing decisions. I no longer just fulfil my desires, impulses or compulsions.
I just notice the thoughts and allow them to wash through. I don't judge them, I don't feel bad, and I don't try to get rid of the thoughts. I simply notice.
INSIGHTS
(1) I am the creator of my thoughts, my feelings and my outcomes.
(2) There is no rush.
TOTAL: OUT - 322 IN - 9
New habits are forming. You know the deal, what you focus on gets bigger or more obvious. Its called the Hawthorn Effect (or observer effect) where simply the effect of being observed, or in this case, self-observation, brings about the change without any other changes being implemented.
What I have noticed
- I am considering every expenditure regardless how much it is (new for me)
- I am not interested in going to the shops (WTF!! this used to be a pastime)
- I am not looking to bring things into my life (it was my old way of filling myself up)
- I am more interested in experiencing connections (an expanded way of being for me)
- I am on the look out for things I no longer need in my life (in the past I rarely noticed the 'stuff'... and often I would have things I have never used... oh dear!)
It doesn't matter what you go for...shi(f)t will happen
As you make changes in life towards what you love, we make choices, challenges, goals and other commitments to outcomes. It doesn't matter what you go for, all your dragons will appear to try to keep the status quo.
I believe that we are here to experience ourselves as a full expression of our hearts. My commitment to this for myself is the top priority. It is certainly not an easy journey...but it is the ONLY journey in life. Otherwise we will be driven by our unconscious compulsion for comfort and reduced tension.
A surprise for most people is the premise that tension (creative not psychological) is what enables us to fulfil our dreams. True change occurs when tension is applied. Therefore it is our relationship to tension that needs developing...not the how-to's we often seek to get us what we want.
As a personal and business coach I love exploring this concept with clients. Discovering their true value and then setting a course often develops tension. Their results equate directly to their relationship with this tension.
If you want to learn more about this email me for a session deb@creativecoaching.com - mention this blog for a special first session offer.
What went out - 9 items
Plenty of things to grab as I moved around the house. It is amazing what you find at the bottom of some cupboards including gifts still in their plastic, scented candles, table runners never used, an old decorative box that has lost its pizzazz.
What came in - 0 items
Nothing...yay!!
INSIGHTS
(1) Developing a positive relationship with tension enables us to achieve anything
(2) Staying conscious take effort
TOTAL: OUT - 316 IN - 9
