What a ride this is. I didn't realise that de-cluttering was a disconnection to that which is not me.
Could de-cluttering be caused by something else?
I have come to realise over the last few weeks (hence my distraction from this blog) that 'I' am not my house, 'I' am not my clothes, 'I' am not the 'me' I have created... or should I say my emotions have created. I am not any of that.
And where the heck did all that come from? I am coming to learn that this 'me' came from many directions including my parents, my biological roots, my experiences and probably the collective lineage of life. No wonder it can feel like I am not driving this bus sometimes.
Disconnecting from the material world has either started this journey or been a consequence of something unconsciously stirring from within.
Either way it has opened a door way through which my scared little child is walking.
I am no different to anyone else on the awareness journey. I have fears, doubts, excitements and joys. AND I have a pain-body (I like to call Mrs p-body) that is engaged at the slightest trigger and seduces my emotions and mind into dancing with the ego. Once I identify with any of it... I am in the game of the ego. And of late it has full on.
Realising I am NOT what I observe has been a
great reminder of all that which I have known before. But it appears that having what I want and opening my heart in all it's glory has stirred the sleeping tiger. This has had me somewhat possessed by the pain-body full on. I am on the journey back home.
I have discovered that material consumerism has been my escape from living with myself. I can't stand that side of me that has appeared and taken over.
Even my reaction to it is part of it. How strange this game is. So to observe it and become fully aware is what I am up for. Perhaps I will share more of it here if folks are interested.
What's next for me is to observe, to see just what is really going on. And that which I can observe is not the 'I am'. I will discover the real self and uncover the created me. And I expect the pain-body will transmute into a world I am yet to discover. The rock will become the crystal. Hanging with the tension will lead the way.
The real game is happening.
Cheers from Deb (suffering, seeking and surrendering to the truth... one gone-ski at a time)
What went out - 15 items
9 handbags that I just don't use anymore. Some I actually have never used. Mostly gifts from others as I don't really buy bags that often. I also tossed out 2 tops and 4 workshop packs.
What came in - 4 items
2 pairs of work shoes, 1 ceramic pot and a plant. I could stop there and not share the shoes story... but I won't. Here is what happened...lol.
I bought a pair of red shoes a while back for work. They were on sale from $249 to %99 form Eco...very well made and very comfortable. I wear them often at work and they are very comfortable and are an excellent quality... not like some of the cheap shit I have bought in the past. The problem was when I bought them I could have bought a second pair for 50%...but didn't . WTF!!! Why didn't I get the black as well!!?? Anyway I dropped by the store JUST IN CASE the black ones were still there... and they were!!! So I bought them and another great pair of closed in shoes for winter...equally high quality and 50% for second pair. All in all I bought over $450 worth of shoes for $150 and I expect to get lots of wears out of them and for them to last for years.
INSIGHTS
(1) I am not 'me'
(2) If this happening to me, everyone I met that is not in their hearts is swept up by their pain-body. Empathy emerges from my heart.
(3) Getting rid of the triggers of my pain are not the answer... not identifying with it, is.
TOTAL: OUT - 1000 IN - 128 (whoohoo!! we hit 1000)
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
A couple of social events in a row, ok 6 in a row, and BAM I am knocked off my centre. Speaks volumes.
What takes us from our purpose?
We all have honest desires, passions and goals in life. They can be driven from various parts of our character. Regardless of the outcome we get the opportunity to grow.
In my way of seeing life, two parts of us are participating at any given time. There is our true nature, our heart, our higher self...then there is our wounded self which bases its view on experiences of the past.
Knowing this exists in all of us makes it easy to understand self and others.
I like to experiment in life. I like to take on small challenges and see what they reveal. This blog about jumping off the consumerism train is providing the best vehicle to the next level of growth.
Personal insights are the elixir of life. They feed us and enable us to continue along the path of the unknown. Developing personal trust in self and something outside of self expands the playing field of life. Game on people!
Oh NO!! an Op Shop!!!
We walked up the street in Glebe on Sunday morning to pick up some sour dough bread from our favourite baker. Funnily enough we walk past our favourite Op Shop too. LOL... we are hopeless. We didn't even take a second to decide whether we should go in our not. We just colluded beautifully and in we went.
I had a browse however was very aware of the heightened intensity of my experience. My heart was racing, my vision was completely scanning the store for silk, shoes, and treasure of various kinds. It was fascinating.
It's exciting. Not knowing what I may find, what gem I may uncover, what pair of Italian leather, one of a kind, never been worn before high heel shoes I may find on the top shelf!!! OMG... this is so exciting I need a lie down!!!
What is this? Is it something filling me up because life is so empty? Nah! Is it a need to spend money? Maybe. Is it a need to not miss out on something? Getting warmer. Is it a need to have something new which somehow brings a false sense of joy? Hotter. Is it...
Oh dear... interesting hey? It didn't take me long to realise I had just fallen off the wagon and the Indians were surrounding me.
Being honest with myself was a bit difficult. Accepting that this isn't true to do, yet here I am in the store, wasn't easy. I felt disappointed for about a minute until I realised I was aware, that I was able to make a choice now... and so I did.
So I changed my tactic. I stopped shopping for me and I changed my focus to looking for others. I looked at the silk ties for Jerry for work, I looked at the jewellery for my friends and lo and behold I found a great necklace for someone special. I paid $10 for it and know they will love it. It goes away into the box of Xmas presents. I know she will love it and use it and so it won't be considered clutter.
Is this a successful outcome? Hmmm don't know. But what I do know is I had a great opportunity to see my 'addiction' in action. AND how easily Jerry and I collude around consumerism. I also discovered that I don't NEED anything. There was nothing I really needed from that visit. This was a great discovery of reality.
This blog and my commitment to myself to sail this journey for a year is paying me back big time. I expect by the end of the year I won't recognise myself... a common experience over the last 15 years.
Cheers from Deb (still learning on the path)
What came in - 3 items
Op Shop buys: Jerry: 1 shirt and 1 tie / Deb: 1 necklace (Xmas pressie for someone special)
What went out - 3 items
A picture frame I have had for over 20 years and never used, a pair of shoes and a set of paper tabs.
Woohoo!!! We have hit 800 gone-ski items.
INSIGHTS
(1) No matter what we think, say or do, we have the opportunity to learn.
(2) I don't need any 'stuff'
TOTAL: OUT - 800 IN - 115
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
With the digital world changing how we get our information, storage becomes the new bookshelf.
What Books Do I Keep?
Today I was looking at our book cases. I love the look and feel of books. They add warmth to the home and each one holds wisdom and adventure. So what will this look like in 5 years time? What about in 20 years? Will we be all fully online for everything? Then what will happen to all the books in the world?
My thoughts around this involves the constant shifting of storage types. I mean one upon a time we recorded digital media on tape drives, then floppy drives, then CDs, DVDs and now hard drives. Will there come a day when my hard drive will no longer be read by the device and programs I have. Then what? We are already looking at recorded media at our house that is likely not to be read. I have videos of me playing touch football 20 years ago that may no longer play.
Books on the other hand last as long as the paper (based on weather conditions etc). Stories in those books enable us to know cultures, people and events. The cultures we know little about are the ones that have not recorded their stories.
This tells me how little we really know. Makes me see the power of intuition and the travel across all time and space we can do by sitting in stillness to connect with that which we don't know.
So what will we do with our books? I don't know.
For now, I ended up finding 4 books I bought when pregnant that showed you how to unleash your child's genius. They are amazing books. One in particular came from the US and cost (wait for it) $140 to ship. The book was only $15. (clearly I am not over that!!)
From these books, I made a lot of props to support the stimulation of my gorgeous daughters genius. She was reading before she could speak.
So now it is time to get rid of them and the props. I will definitely be putting these on the 'for sale' pile.
As for the rest of the books... not sure what we are going to do with them. Time will tell.
Cheers from Deb (perplexed by the info storage challenges of the future)
What went out - 4 items
Books
What came in - 0 items
Nothing again... (big fat silly smile)
INSIGHTS
(1) The world is in a constant state of flux... changing with it enables growth
(2) It is not the book itself, it is the insights one gets when reading them, that creates value
TOTAL: OUT - 796 IN - 76
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
You have two choices. To sit and do nothing or to get up and do something.
How Simple Actions Can Create Great Change
I opened up one of the sides of my dresser where I stash my soft 'warmies' (pullovers etc). I'm not sure if doing this in summer is smart or really stoooopid. Any-who, a quick try on session and out go 10 items. It felt really good. Someone in need is going to really like these.
This is how the should I or shouldn't I thing went down...
I was sitting in my chair watching TV after a long day. I really didn't want to do anything! However my nagging gone-ski angel was continually tapping me on the shoulder to get up out of that there chair missy. Boy she is pushy sometimes (secretly glad but putting on a sad face anyway).
I realised I had a choice to either sit there or get up and do something. The later was not appealing but I knew it was the truest thing to do. So I dragged myself out of my comfy chair and walked into the bedroom and looked around for a place to investigate. Bam...there it was, my 'warmies'.
I realised I had about 6 of the same kind of zip up pullovers (not really a pullover then are they...LOL). And some of them were just tired, not worn any more and needed to go out. Gone-ski!
The item shown in the picture is going up for sale as it is brand new but I've never worn it. Should add to our holiday fund nicely.
What went out - 10 items
Various pullovers - this makes up for yesterday (snicker)
What came in - 1 items
I bought a ceramic pot for an indoor plant that needs some loving
INSIGHTS
(1) Having others vote on whether to toss something helps a lot
(2) You can only wear one thing at a time
TOTAL: OUT - 785 IN - 76
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
When you do a little every day towards a choice in life, things shift permanently.
More space equals more connection
It is incredible to me how this small change have made such a big difference. Last night I was in our daughter's room as she was doing homework. The room felt different. It had more space in it for her to express herself. It looked cleaner even though she was busy with things here and there. It was inviting. It was actually the first time she had done her homework in her room...and the first time I had gone in and worked along side her.
I notice we are using the house differently. When an area is free from clutter it's much more inviting.
I don't know where this will end. Actually as I write this I realise it will never end... like anything we change, it keeps morphing and shifting as we continue to grow into our true expression of self. And as we discover more of ourselves and life, we lift our sights even further on our true (higher) self.
Hope your journey is evolving through your choices and actions...and not through circumstances.
When we are clear on our choices in life AND when we take action towards those choices, shift happens. Small daily actions become massive leaps in achieving an outcome. Ask any author, artist, sports person, academic, etc. You cannot 'cram' life. It just doesn't work that way. And no matter what circumstances occur, how far they bump you off the path, knowing the path and continuing to walk it is all you need to do. The moment you let circumstances guide you, you are at the mercy of everyone else's journey, not yours.
The trick is to be relentlessly dedicated to your choices, your outcome. You will be surprised at how quickly life shifts.. and your heart will start to blossom.
Cheers from Deb (a ponderer of life)
What went out - 1 items
Another loiterer in my wardrobe (what was I thinking...LOL)
What came in - 1 items
Can opener (had to replace our broken, silly billy one)
INSIGHTS
(1) Even the smallest, most modest of homes can be transformed by clean space
(2) Nothing beats spending time with those you love
TOTAL: OUT - 776 IN - 68
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
Today we watched a video about 'the story of stuff'. We had seen this a few years ago but today it landed big time... we all sat here talking about things we could do.
It doesn't getting any more real than this
I asked Sammi (12 years old) how she felt after watching this movie.. she said "sad, annoyed and cranky at the people who've made this happen". I said "what do you think we should do about it?" She said "let's recycle, make compost and a vegie garden, shop less and make good choices if we do shop...and become a non-consumer. She said "the last three are already ticked off...we are doing this now".
She was clearly shaken by seeing the unsustainable system which kicked off in the 1950's. We have all been sucked into the vortex of this machine. BTW there are no winners. Sure the fat cats are making the big money now... but it is only short term satisfaction... and it simply cannot last!
These corporates are going to lose eventually... quality of life, family, health, connection etc. Then what?
Click here to watch the STORY OF STUFF video
We can reclaim happiness and connection right now
We made the choice 38 day ago to undo that which we have entangled ourselves in. We have become dedicated to the truth of this and are slowly but surely shifting all aspects of consumerism in our lives.
The end result is we are spending less, and enjoying more quality time with friends, family and our hearts passions.
Yesterday we went shopping - can you believe it!!
We went to the shopping mall to go to the movies. This is a family (weekly) event given it is my husbands craft and something we enjoy together. We saw 'The Theory of Everything'. It was another reminder of the important things in life.
We didn't impulse buy anything. Yay us!!
We got out our online wish-lists and bought a few items on the top of the lists.
Sammi - an umbrella, twisty towels for her wet hair.
Deb - herbal tea canister (and some tea)
Jerry - coat hangers (wooden), 2 x tea cups (as we only had 2 in the house).
We did however stumble across a good reminder of this crazy consumer world. The video 'Confession of a SHOPAHOLIC' caught our eye and we all laughed.
Just look at the STUFF on the shelves behind me... OMG!! It now makes me feel sick and overwhelmed looking at it. Thank goodness we are turning this thing around.
What went out - 32 items
Old plastic coat- hangers and some baby wooden coat-hangers (we will pass these on), and some junk from Sammi's room (yes more).
What came in - 15 items
13 items from our wish-list plus two hand driven torches from a friend which tick off an item from Jerry's wish-list.
INSIGHTS
(1) We are part of a system and don't know it.
(2) The system thrives as long as we remain unconscious
(3) The current consumer system is unsustainable and therefore terminal
(4) We need a new system... let's create it together
TOTAL: OUT - 740 IN - 64
Getting the clutter out of the house is unbelievable. Imagine what it will be like by the end of the year...yes, we are going for 365 days.
Focus creates reality
When we first started this journey I decided to write this blog to keep myself honest. I am not sure who's reading this, giggling at it, or if it's having an impact... but I can tell you, being accountable to this blog every day MAKES IT HAPPEN.
Our home is starting to breath easier. Not that it was full to the brim... but it is a tiny home and really doesn't like lots of stuff.
The outcome of this commitment is new behaviours are forming, new principles are developing and our appreciation for experiences has gone into hyper drive.
Having a focus, we not only get amazing results, we gain an awareness of our shadow self and reveals unconscious beliefs, assumptions and addictions. We are loving the results and the journey....bring it!!
What went out - 42 items
We cleaned up under Sammi's desk in her room to enable her to do homework in peace. We then did the bottom of her wardrobe. We found lots of things she got as a young child.
What came in - 0 items
Doing the happy dance...oh yeah!!
INSIGHTS
(1) Focus enables a deeper level of self-reflection
(2) Just because something is beautiful, it doesn't mean you have to keep it.
TOTAL: OUT - 691 IN - 49
