Day 60 & 61: Faced With a Tough Decision... How Did I Go?

A couple of social events in a row, ok 6 in a row, and BAM I am knocked off my centre. Speaks volumes.

What takes us from our purpose?

We all have honest desires, passions and goals in life. They can be driven from various parts of our character. Regardless of the outcome we get the opportunity to grow.

In my way of seeing life, two parts of us are participating at any given time. There is our true nature, our heart, our higher self...then there is our wounded self which bases its view on experiences of the past.

Knowing this exists in all of us makes it easy to understand self and others.

I like to experiment in life. I like to take on small challenges and see what they reveal. This blog about jumping off the consumerism train is providing the best vehicle to the next level of growth.

Personal insights are the elixir of life. They feed us and enable us to continue along the path of the unknown. Developing personal trust in self and something outside of self expands the playing field of life. Game on people!

Oh NO!! an Op Shop!!!

We walked up the street in Glebe on Sunday morning to pick up some sour dough bread from our favourite baker. Funnily enough we walk past our favourite Op Shop too. LOL... we are hopeless. We didn't even take a second to decide whether we should go in our not. We just colluded beautifully and in we went.

I had a browse however was very aware of the heightened intensity of my experience. My heart was racing, my vision was completely scanning the store for silk, shoes, and treasure of various kinds. It was fascinating.

It's exciting. Not knowing what I may find, what gem I may uncover, what pair of Italian leather, one of a kind, never been worn before high heel shoes I may find on the top shelf!!! OMG... this is so exciting I need a lie down!!!

What is this? Is it something filling me up because life is so empty? Nah! Is it a need to spend money? Maybe. Is it a need to not miss out on something? Getting warmer. Is it a need to have something new which somehow brings a false sense of joy? Hotter. Is it...
Oh dear... interesting hey? It didn't take me long to realise I had just fallen off the wagon and the Indians were surrounding me.

Being honest with myself was a bit difficult. Accepting that this isn't true to do, yet here I am in the store, wasn't easy. I felt disappointed for about a minute until I realised I was aware, that I was able to make a choice now... and so I did.  

So I changed my tactic. I stopped shopping for me and I changed my focus to looking for others. I looked at the silk ties for Jerry for work, I looked at the jewellery for my friends and lo and behold I found a great necklace for someone special. I paid $10 for it and know they will love it. It goes away into the box of Xmas presents. I know she will love it and use it and so it won't be considered clutter.

Is this a successful outcome? Hmmm don't know. But what I do know is I had a great opportunity to see my 'addiction' in action. AND how easily Jerry and I collude around consumerism. I also discovered that I don't NEED anything. There was nothing I really needed from that visit. This was a great discovery of reality.

This blog and my commitment to myself to sail this journey for a year is paying me back big time. I expect by the end of the year I won't recognise myself... a common experience over the last 15 years.

Cheers from Deb (still learning on the path)

 

What came in - 3 items

Op Shop buys: Jerry: 1 shirt and 1 tie / Deb: 1 necklace (Xmas pressie for someone special)

What went out - 3 items

A picture frame I have had for over 20 years and never used, a pair of shoes and a set of paper tabs.

Woohoo!!! We have hit 800 gone-ski items.

INSIGHTS

(1) No matter what we think, say or do, we have the opportunity to learn.
(2) I don't need any 'stuff'

 TOTAL: OUT - 800  IN - 115

TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48

Day 58 & 59: IN-Sanity - You Won't Believe What Came Into The House This Weekend.

Oh dear... possibly a tsunami level of inward flow at the Jackson house.
 

You Won't Believe What Came Into The House This Weekend

I enjoyed a lazy morning in bed reading a book... actually, I read through to 1pm and then had a little sleep. Loved it! Meanwhile hubby went off to enjoy his passion at the local DVD store which was closing down... sign of the times hey? It was an opportunity for him to pick up some classics missing from his collection. INCOMING WARNING!!
 

I didn't realise what this meant until I saw the pile. 36 DVDs made there way into the house. Oh boy!! It started a conversation about moving all the DVDs to an online medium. This would enable us to get ALL the DVDs out of the house. Jerry was saying this was not as easy as it sounds. Time to research me thinks.
 
In the mean time we may have come up with an interim solution. The issue with the amount of DVDs we have is the space they take up. We have a little home and 300+ DVDs take up quite a lot of space. It may be more than this... have to count them.
 
The solution we are going to try is to put each DVD in a sleeve and keep the cover art with the sleeve. We will convert a drawers into a DVD storage system like they do at the DVD stores. It will take up so much less space. Don't know exactly how this will work however the end result will be the bulky plastic cases will be gone-ski . One option is something called Discsox. It appears they are high quality sleeves just for this purpose. I will let you know how we go.

This will enable us to take the (somewhat ugly) cabinet out of the lounge room. This will clear the space in readiness for the lounge room makeover we have planned. 

 

What came in - 36 

36 DVDs - classics 
 

What went out - 1 items

1 top I don't wear

INSIGHTS

(1) Finding a solution to the things you cherish is fun to do
(2) Piracy creates the need to protect from theft yet hampers all users making copies of items they have purchased. A strange industry.   

TOTAL: OUT - 797  IN - 112

TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48

Day 54: SPACE, The Final Frontier

It only takes 5 minutes a day to get into the habit of clearing out the clutter.

Clearing out is the easy part

Stopping the incoming items is the hardest part. The idiom 'nature abhors a vacuum' explains the tension 'naturally' generated when we deem a space empty. It is about redefining the space.

Is it empty or is it open and clear? What does a clear, clean space mean to you? How does it feel? Where will you put the time you used to invest in moving, cleaning and dealing with the clutter? What passion have you got inside your heart that now can be explored?

A reduction of items coming in has meant a big difference to us. We use our time differently. We use our space differently. We appreciate our things so much more.

This journey is changing our lives in a lovely, slow and permanent way.

Have you been inspired? Share your experience here (my blog's facebook group)https://www.facebook.com/groups/427233054096059/

Cheers from Deb (soaking in gratitude)

What went out - 7 items

One pair of shoes and 6 pieces of clothing from Jerry's wardrobe (his choices)

What came in - 0 items

Nothing again...loving this.

INSIGHTS

(1) The definition of clear space impacts how you use it
(2) Stuff has no value what so ever. The way we use stuff makes it valuable.

TOTAL: OUT - 792  IN - 76

TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48

Day 49: How More Space Equals More Connection

When you do a little every day towards a choice in life, things shift permanently.

More space equals more connection

It is incredible to me how this small change have made such a big difference. Last night I was in our daughter's room as she was doing homework. The room felt different. It had more space in it for her to express herself. It looked cleaner even though she was busy with things here and there. It was inviting. It was actually the first time she had done her homework in her room...and the first time I had gone in and worked along side her.

I notice we are using the house differently. When an area is free from clutter it's much more inviting.

I don't know where this will end. Actually as I write this I realise it will never end... like anything we change, it keeps morphing and shifting as we continue to grow into our true expression of self. And as we discover more of ourselves and life, we lift our sights even further on our true (higher) self.

Hope your journey is evolving through your choices and actions...and not through circumstances.

When we are clear on our choices in life AND when we take action towards those choices, shift happens. Small daily actions become massive leaps in achieving an outcome. Ask any author, artist, sports person, academic, etc. You cannot 'cram' life. It just doesn't work that way. And no matter what circumstances occur, how far they bump you off the path, knowing the path and continuing to walk it is all you need to do. The moment you let circumstances guide you, you are at the mercy of everyone else's journey, not yours.

The trick is to be relentlessly dedicated to your choices, your outcome. You will be surprised at how quickly life shifts.. and your heart will start to blossom.

Cheers from Deb (a ponderer of life)

What went out - 1 items

Another loiterer in my wardrobe (what was I thinking...LOL)

What came in - 1 items

Can opener (had to replace our broken, silly billy one)

INSIGHTS

(1) Even the smallest, most modest of homes can be transformed by clean space
(2) Nothing beats spending time with those you love

TOTAL: OUT - 776  IN - 68

TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48

Day 45: How Simple Gifts From The Heart Can Bring So Much Joy

We enjoyed a magical day with my ex in-laws yesterday celebrating her 80th birthday and their 60 years of marriage. Amazing!

Incoming Gifts

This was the first time we had seen relatives since Christmas and the start of this new 'non consumerism' journey. We hadn't yet shared our journey with them. They had a gift for me for my birthday... a serving platter. What now?

It was beautiful (tick) and replaced the one we tossed out that had chips on the corners (tick). So I guess in a way it is welcomed, but did we really need it? (the jury is out) Probably not. None the less it is in the cupboard and we will see if we reach for it.

Outgoing Gifts

We, in turn, took gifts for their 60th wedding anniversary and her 80th birthday. We decided on flowers and a bottle of Moet... and a small glass diamond (in an old gift box we had lying around) signifying 60 years of marriage. When the celebration occurred we openly shared our hearts with them in the form of the spoken word (no on an expensive, environmentally irresponsible, store purchased card.) It was so warmly received and I am sure connected more to their hearts than the alternative.

What I loved was the amount of love that Steve (ex hubby) and his sister went to for their celebrations. Lisa organised a gorgeous cake and a letter from the queen, our Prime Minister, the Governor General, their local MP and another MP. Amazing and truly thoughtful gifts from the heart.

Steve organised champagne, made an awesome fruit platter and bought his mum a book. Very thoughtful and loving.

All in all, the day was full of love.... it was great!

Cheers from Deb (tears of appreciation in her eyes)

What came in - 1 item

Birthday present for me - the platter

What went out - 2 items

Two small nic-naks

INSIGHTS

(1) The spoken word is so powerful, especially from the heart
(2) There are many gifts that mean so much, that costs nothing (financially, environmentally, emotionally)
(3) Their is a sense of guilt from not 'gifting' in the traditional way - boy this really shines a light on the power of the media and the consumer calendar.

TOTAL: OUT - 770  IN - 67

TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48 

Day 44: 10 Ways to Celebrate Love No Matter What Day it is

Love is such a special gift it is always worth celebrating.

All you need is love... (dah da da da daaaahhhh)

Love comes in many packages and in most cases challenges us along the journey. It is a

blessing to find a partner that understands and cherishes you. Deep love will push our buttons and have us grow into more of our hearts... that is, if we are brave enough to go the distance.

When it comes to a crazy tradition like Valentines Day, the expectations completely take over and have most of us join in the retail ritual of no return. So rather than be part of the consumer calendar perhaps we can dip into our imagination and create special moments from the heart and not the wallet.  

Here are a few ideas...

1. Give your partner a loving massage with all the trimmings - music, lighting, essential oils.
2. Create a picnic and enjoy a cuddle under a tree
3. Write a little love note and leave it somewhere as a surprise
4. Watch his or her favourite movie with some home-made nibbles and a glass of wine
5. Take a different way home and stop off at the beach for a walk in the sand
6. Holding hands
7. Sharing your ice-cream for the very first time
8. Leave life's 'have to's' and spend time doing something together
9. Turn the TV off, leave phones in another room and BE with each other
10. Ask them on a date... create some fun around the anticipation

Enjoy every day you can as they're all special...as are you.

Cheers from Deb (high priestess of love)    

What went out - 5 items

A couple of CD's, a game and a DVD

 

What came in - 0 items

Zero

INSIGHTS

(1) There are more than 50 shades of romance
(2) Nothing beats authentic romance from the heart

TOTAL: OUT - 768  IN - 66

TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48 

Day 43: Nothing Says Love Like a Stuffed Bear, Wrapped in Plastic, Made in China

Come on people...let's not get sucked into this: 'I know he loves me! He bought me a beautifully wrapped box of paraffin with artificial colours and flavours'... !! 

Stupid is as cupid does

Valentines Day is a myth perpetuated by the retail industry to wake us up from the consumer hibernation after the post Christmas sales. We are jolted into a sense of panic of not buying 'just the right thing' for those we love.

The store displays and advertising generate a frenzy and intimate the more we spend, the more loving and romantic we are.

Does it guarantee love? Does it express the true message of our hearts? Does it mean we are good people?

What it does mean is there are more useless pieces of clutter, made in factories by people paid way too little, destined for the rubbish tip, and certain to keep people distracted from the true passions of the heart. In essence this false love burst is a reflection of the consumer collaboration keeping us from authentic living. 

Choose carefully how you express your love this year. Keep it real.   

What went out - 2 items

Jerry tossed out two (old) pairs of shorts

What came in - 0 items

Nothing

INSIGHTS

(1) We are all on a commercial calendar programmed to spend
(2) Many families (in the retail industry) rely on this calendar to feed their families. Deconstructing this entangled co-dependency needs to happen... considering all sides is important

TOTAL: OUT - 763  IN - 66

TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48 (one more sale yesterday)

Day 34: How Many Audio Cassettes Does It Take To...?

OMG... I just found 6 audio cassettes in our bookcase! WTF!! We haven't had an cassette player for over 10 years. What does that tell you?

What was hilarious was my impulse to save them and somehow get them converted... NO!!!! I have not reached for these forever so why do I think I will use them in the future. GONE-SKI!!

What went out - 22 items

A pile of audio cassettes, a stack of those small little books you only read once... like '60 Ways To Feel Amazing". Isn't it incredible that I have felt amazing so often and haven't needed the book to do so. Gone!

What went in - 0 items

Nothing. And no desire to go out and buy anything. One thing I notice now is, every thought I have of something we need, I instantly think wish-list, not shopping.

INSIGHTS

(1) Holding onto anything we have never reached for reveals a belief of some kind
(2) The money spent on impulse buys is better used to create experiences

TOTAL: OUT - 648   IN - 49

Day 33: One Decision Saved over $1000 this Month

There is no way I would have realised how much this ghastly consumerism costs me without looking at the numbers. 

We reduced our impulse spends by 85% and saved over $1000. We Rock!

What do our bank accounts tell me?

We looked at our bank accounts from last year and the impulse buys stood out like big hot steaming turds. It was sickening to see how many things we bought from impulse....we were the marketers dream couple. Drawn in by the shiny, sparkling signs and juiced up by the 'bargains' we found.

It's a scam people!! 

Browsing our bank accounts showed that most of the non-necessity spending was impulse buys. 

We both had colluded on this unconscious way of living...and we are darn glad it has stopped!! 

Here are the impulse spends that jumped off the bank statements:

• dinners out (always impulsive, never planned)
• clothes shopping (never planned)
• op shopping (no predetermine plan to buy)
• DVDs (no real plan to buy until we passed the store)
• Nights out after work (mostly alcohol costs)

In January 2014 we spent $1195 on impulse consumerism!! How stupid is that?

This year we spent only $185 with two dinners, one night after work, 2 DVDs and a quick bite before the movies being all we spent. Although these have been considered impulse buys, all but the DVDs were discussed well before the decision was made to spend.

Being in the business improvement industry, I love data. The numbers tell you the truth. The data tells me that things are shifting big time for our family and it is all because we made a decision....here it is. 

DECISION: To let go of the false relationship and compulsive need (addiction) from the consumer culture I have happily, if unconsciously colluded with. To experience myself, others and life via a relationship built on connection, creating and discovery.

This decision has changed our lives!

What went out - 2 items

Two more coats left the building. One watermelon coat I have only worn once and one 1960 coat I have worn twice. Both really nice....but no longer considered part of the family.

What came in - 0 items

It is wonderful to have nothing coming in
 

INSIGHTS

(1) Ignorance may be bliss, but consciousness is empowering
(2) I have gained so much more than money from this shift
 

TOTAL: OUT - 627   IN - 49

Day 24: The Collective Costs of Consumerism

It started out as a simple task, to cull our 12 years old daughters clothes... as you do.
 
When we stopped last night (half way through) I felt terrible. I realised the cost of all of this stuff...and I am not talking about the money.
 

What does consumerism really cost?

When I sat down and explored how I was feeling I could see (and feel) the costs involved:

• The time it took us to earn the money we would spend on the clothes
• The cost of going shopping - petrol, the food we would buy while out etc  
• The time it took to go find the clothes 
• The time it takes sorting the clothes into the wardrobe
• The time it takes to cull the clothes out of the wardrobe
• The cost of the clothes - thank goodness we op shop
• The cost of manufacturing - perhaps some are through exploitive arrangements
• The cost of the carbon footprint
• The energetic cost of the clutter
• The time it takes to dispose - into the rubbish, donating or driving to give away
• The cost to the planet generating and transporting the raw materials

And I bet there are plenty more costs involved.

My first reaction to this awareness was absolute overwhelm. I felt agitated and sad about the costs involved especially the financial and time costs to our family.

The gift of this awareness is invaluable. We will certainly redirect the dollars and time into truer aspirations and enable our passions through thoughtful actions.

I see us creating experiences with our family, friends and others rather than playing this consumer game.

Being conscious about the use of our time and money is a gift. But it did take me a bit of time to grasp the damage that has been caused, and have it all sink in. Once it did, I felt totally shaken!!

This was a painful epiphany... a shock to my reality. I had to honestly own that I was the cause... that my unconscious and poor decision making has cost us dearly.

Don't beat yourself up

There are two options: To judge yourself and get depressed by the past OR to redirect the energy into creating a better future.

It's obvious. As we become aware we make better choices. We all make mistakes, this is how we grow. I am not interested in hiding my mistakes, sugar coating the truth or spending time regretting the past... it is fruitless.

I am committed to learning more about myself, bringing my heart into the world as best I can, and luxuriating in the connections and experiences of life.

This lesson continues the journey.

What went out - 55 items

We culled 55 pieces of clothing... some had not ever been worn! We found some great pieces she can wear now that had been hidden amongst the masses.

What came in - 0 items

Keeping it lean...nothing in.

INSIGHTS

(1) The collective costs of consumerism is higher than we could imagine
(2) When you have too many clothes you cannot see any of them


TOTAL: OUT - 484   IN - 30

Day 21: Parenting my Three Year Old at the Lolly Counter

No matter what drawer or cupboard I open, it is full of stuff that makes me think I have been possessed at one time by a bag lady with a shoe fetish. What is it that makes us do this?

Is it the need to keep up with the Joneses? Is it the need to feel a certain power as we buy something 'just because we can'? Or even worse 'when we can't, but do anyway'? Or perhaps it is the hit from the novelty (the newness) we get with anything new and interesting only to find it is dropped without care as soon as the next shiny item crosses our path.

Are we simply three year olds at the supermarket checkout screaming 'I want it, and I want it NOW? 

Becoming the parent is probably what I am doing. It is not always easy, but as a parent we know that tough love is real love. Saying yes to everything renders us powerless.

When stresses hit, or circumstances bump us off our path, it takes WILL to duck and weave those emotional missiles and stay true to our journey.

I could point the finger at a gazillion circumstances that have whittled away my resolve. However the truth is, I have been seduced by my own stories.

My stories are my beliefs and assumptions I made up about life, that I have been practicing and confirming since I arrived here on the planet. My stories developed a certain perspective of 'how it is' and without a change I would live life as if these are really how it is...and it's not.  

Awareness and the ability to have compassion for myself as I discover my stories is very helpful. Beating myself up serves no purpose other than to perpetuate another story.

 

I Didn't Realise I had an Addiction

To discover this consumer addiction was a shock. It was hidden until December last year when I decided 2015 was going to be a year of de-cluttering. My first reaction was absolute shock, confusion, denial...and then acceptance. I knew from that moment life was going to shift.

My experience in life as a coach, a corporate professional and mother, has shown me that we as humans can only ever take the next step in our journey. We simply can't bypass the learnings and evolution of our own selves... if we did we would miss the very essence of existence.

I believe we are not meant to 'arrive' and go da-dah!! I believe we are meant to experience the pathway to our destinations in all it's glory in order to appreciate it when we get there. And then of course we discover, there is no 'there'. 

Did that give you brain freeze? 

 

What went out - 9 items

A quick check in the kitchen second drawer reveals 9 items that we don't use. Gone-ski!

What came in - 1 item

A package arrive for Sammi from my mum. Not sure what is in it but I am suspecting it is clothing. Doh! BTW I haven't had the chat with my mum yet about not adding to our clutter. Note to self - DO IT NOW!!!

INSIGHTS

(1) Circumstances are not the cause of our outcomes in life, our actions are the cause of our circumstances.
(2) Small conscious steps, often, get grand results! 


TOTAL: OUT - 419   IN - 29
 

Guest Blog by Mary Atkins: SPOILT FOR CHOICE

The Mall, the grand temple of consumerism, promises us so much satisfaction. As we pace the avenues of shiny windowed retailers our senses are aroused with trinkets, fashion and style. The Malls are open seven days a week and we can even indulge in shopping from the comfort of our own bed thanks to television and the internet.  A bombardment of clever marketing feeds our desire to ‘shop till we drop.’

Nearly two decades ago the Chicago Tribune commented ‘We've become a nation measuring out our lives in shopping bags and nursing our psychic ills through retail therapy.’

So does retail therapy and its cornucopia of abundance make us happy, well according to the studies by American psychologists David Myers and Robert Lane this modern day consumer bonanza often leads to depression and feelings of loneliness. Barry Schwartz author of the book The Paradox of Choice - Why More Is Less asserts that as consumers we have too many choices, too many decisions that make us confused and anxious and leaves us too little time to do what really is important. 

He believes we are happier when we have less choice citing an interesting study by Columbia and Stanford Universities that found that when participants were faced with a smaller rather than larger array of chocolates, they were actually more satisfied with their tasting.

Maybe this explains the modern day phenomenon of our love affair with branding and our fascination with ridiculously priced items.  A brand, especially a glossy luxury brand, is like some great retail God sign that the BRAND is the key to consumer nirvana. Then for the shoe fetish amongst us, it seems the only way our consumer ethos can be enriched is by the purchase of a pair of Jimmy Choo or Manolo Blahnik shoes.

Compare this with the simpler time of my life as a child and young woman, where one pair of shoes, commensurate with our growth, and one pair of slippers was the norm. ‘Make do and mend’ was the catch cry for the British people in wartime and post war England.

When rationing was eventually dissembled fourteen years after it began in 1954 the lesson of thriftiness had well and truly been learned. My father still mended our shoes, we grew our own vegetables, leftovers were never left to mould, every piece of the carcass of meat or poultry was used. ‘Built in obsolescence’ and ‘de-clutter’ and ‘keeping up with Jones’s’ was not to be found in any dictionary. Nothing was thrown out. We recycled and made do.

But so many everyday foods and goods we did without. All my clothes were hand-me-downs. I ate my first piece of steak, a banana and chocolate when I was eight.  A fresh egg, rather than powdered egg was a luxury.

Did these limited choices make us happier? Life was definitely simpler and shopping was about meeting our primary needs rather than wants. There was no acquaintance with a shiny new whatever to stir the covetousness of our unfilled wants. We accepted that this was how it was and dreamed of better days when rationing was over and we could indulge freely.

Frugality and abundance are the opposite ends of the spectrum both equal in their impact.  Too little dampens the spirit and too much sends us skittering out of control with a desire for more and more.

In Vietnam the market traders have coined an expression for the tourist customers  - ‘You see, you like. You like, you buy. You buy, you have. You have, you like,’ which sums up today’s pop shopping culture of our desire for instant gratification.  But if we absorb the conclusion from the psychologists’ studies that too much choice makes us confused and anxious we see clearly that real happiness lies in an ability to live more simply. 

Ideally it is about creating a balance; understanding that there is a difference between a spur of the moment ‘that’s nice’ buy and a genuine want - a quality choice that will nurture us.

 

Mary Atkins

19 January 2015

Day 13: It doesn't matter what you go for...shi(f)t will happen

New habits are forming. You know the deal, what you focus on gets bigger or more obvious. Its called the Hawthorn Effect (or observer effect) where simply the effect of being observed, or in this case, self-observation, brings about the change without any other changes being implemented.

What I have noticed

• I am considering every expenditure regardless how much it is (new for me)
• I am not interested in going to the shops (WTF!! this used to be a pastime)
• I am not looking to bring things into my life (it was my old way of filling myself up)
• I am more interested in experiencing connections (an expanded way of being for me)
• I am on the look out for things I no longer need in my life (in the past I rarely noticed the 'stuff'... and often I would have things I have never used... oh dear!)

It doesn't matter what you go for...shi(f)t will happen

As you make changes in life towards what you love, we make choices, challenges, goals and other commitments to outcomes. It doesn't matter what you go for, all your dragons will appear to try to keep the status quo.

I believe that we are here to experience ourselves as a full expression of our hearts. My commitment to this for myself is the top priority. It is certainly not an easy journey...but it is the ONLY journey in life. Otherwise we will be driven by our unconscious compulsion for comfort and reduced tension.

A surprise for most people is the premise that tension (creative not psychological) is what enables us to fulfil our dreams. True change occurs when tension is applied. Therefore it is our relationship to tension that needs developing...not the how-to's we often seek to get us what we want. 

As a personal and business coach I love exploring this concept with clients. Discovering their true value and then setting a course often develops tension. Their results equate directly to their relationship with this tension.

If you want to learn more about this email me for a session deb@creativecoaching.com - mention this blog for a special first session offer.

What went out - 9 items

Plenty of things to grab as I moved around the house. It is amazing what you find at the bottom of some cupboards including gifts still in their plastic, scented candles, table runners never used, an old decorative box that has lost its pizzazz.

What came in - 0 items

Nothing...yay!!


INSIGHTS
(1) Developing a positive relationship with tension enables us to achieve anything
(2) Staying conscious take effort

TOTAL: OUT - 316   IN - 9

Day12: Pulling the Trigger on the Wish-List

A quick trip to the shops was required to pick up some pens for Miss 12 year old. We also wanted to get Jerry a tea cup as we are both drinking tea now more than coffee and we only have one tea cup...LOL And yes, both items are on our wish lists. First wish-list purchases.

While we were out and about Sammi wanted to show me the curved screen TV. We made a conscious choice not to go through the '3 blue-ray DVDs for $30' bin, nor look at any iPhone accessories, or other very tempting techie stuff. It was easy once we made the choice. The TV was ok and interesting but that was about it.

Then as we passed the travel agents shop front I remembered our wish-list adventures we have been dreaming up. So I went in and grabbed two brochures for Tasmania and Romantic Getaways. Good for me, no expenditure and starting to fuel our heart choices.

Then off we went... SUDDENLY it dawns on me that these two brochures, that we are surely to flick through and throw out are clutter!! BUSTED!! So we walked back to the store and put them back on the very colourful, glossy covered, 'take me' shelf. And out we went proud as punch that we had once again avoided the consumer game we are playing on ourselves. 

On the way home Sammi and I calculated how much we saved by not impulse buying things like take-away food etc. It added up to $60.50. How about that.

What went out - 3 items

How many candle holders do you really need? A quick look in the candle cupboard and consumer pennies start dropping everywhere. So out go 3 candle holders we have NEVER used.

What came in - 5 items

4 pens from Sammi's wish-list and 1 tea cup from Jerry's wish-list.

INSIGHTS
(1) Anything I bring into our home or into our lives has to enhance it or move us closer to our choices. Otherwise it is clutter.
(2) Every decision NOT to buy something is taking us forward.

TOTAL: OUT - 307   IN - 9

Day11: Dustin' with my Rainman

Woke up to a rainy Sunday morning...just gorgeous. So we planned an indoor sports day: cleaning up a little in the morning to add to the gone-ski box, delicious massage at 10am, off to the movies to see 'Into The Woods' in the afternoon and then home for a relaxing Sunday night with our family. It was a great day.

This new way of being in relation to consumerism coincides with a shift in other areas of my life. Not sure which is the chicken and which is the egg. Regardless there is a massive shift happening this year. I am sure my rather sore lower back is a reflection of this. Time will tell.



It is amazing when you focus on an area of life, how it changes, informs you and opens a window to other areas.  

What went out - 9 items

Again Miss Sammi stepped up and put 9 items into the gone-ski boxes - 4 in trash, 5 in gifting. We are over 300 now!! Woohoo!!

What came in - 0 items

Oh yeah, nothing! Ok... getting all smarty pants now....LOL

INSIGHTS

(1) The physical world is a direct reflection of the emotional world
(2) Experiencing something with our family is WAY better than buying 'stuff'

TOTAL: OUT - 304   IN - 4

 

Day 10: Birthday (Wallet) Bash

I totally busted myself in the consumer trance again. It was hilarious! And the funny thing was I didn't know I was in it until I was away from it. Boy this journey is insightful. Here's what happened....  

Birthday Dinner - Consumer ALERT woot, woot, woot!

We are planning a birthday dinner for yours truly. We walked around Terrigal yesterday and looked at a few places, grabbed some menus and made a tentative booking at two places. 



I got home and took a bath as my back had been sore all day. Sammi and I reviewed the menus whilst in the bath when it dawned on me.

WTF was I thinking!!!

This is not true to do, nor it is in line with what I really choose or want. Woohoo!!

So instead we are cooking up an BYO BBQ at Terrigal Haven. The cost will be heavily reduced. Instead of $60 to $80 plus alcohol costs it should be far less and we will enjoy more.

So over the next few days I will whip up an invite for my good buddies and see if they want to join us for an afternoon/evening of good food, great friends, maybe some games and most importantly, connection.

The interesting thing is to position the present thing so that folks don't give me 'stuff'. Keep you posted as I come up with the best way to say it on the invite.

Wish-List Time (for the family)

Yesterday we spent time on our wish-list. We started with the items for the house. There are many things we need, want and would love. It is interesting sitting around with the family with a lovely cup of tea brainstorming items on the list.

We took it in turn. Sammi wanted her wall painted purple and her room painted like the spare room, Jerry wanted a new stove top, I wanted a new front door. We kept going until we had exhausted our ideas. The list is large but functional. Next weekend we will spend time prioritising it. What will we work towards first. This should be a fun session. May need more than tea to get through this...LOL.

Next we will work on the list of things we would like to do, see, explore. E.G. holidays, weekend bushwalks, movies etc. This will be loads of fun.

What Went Out - 1 Item

Jerry put a desk trinket in the gone-ski box. It was a present however it was never his thing. It doesn't devalue the love of the gifting, it is just not true to keep a gift that is not something you love.

What Came In - 0 Items

Doing well here. We are very conscious about what comes into our lives.
 

INSIGHTS

(1) When you put your guiding principals first, your imagination will find the truest solution
(2) Connecting is a natural human state and we all want and love it
 

2015 TOTAL: OUT - 296   IN - 4