A couple of social events in a row, ok 6 in a row, and BAM I am knocked off my centre. Speaks volumes.
What takes us from our purpose?
We all have honest desires, passions and goals in life. They can be driven from various parts of our character. Regardless of the outcome we get the opportunity to grow.
In my way of seeing life, two parts of us are participating at any given time. There is our true nature, our heart, our higher self...then there is our wounded self which bases its view on experiences of the past.
Knowing this exists in all of us makes it easy to understand self and others.
I like to experiment in life. I like to take on small challenges and see what they reveal. This blog about jumping off the consumerism train is providing the best vehicle to the next level of growth.
Personal insights are the elixir of life. They feed us and enable us to continue along the path of the unknown. Developing personal trust in self and something outside of self expands the playing field of life. Game on people!
Oh NO!! an Op Shop!!!
We walked up the street in Glebe on Sunday morning to pick up some sour dough bread from our favourite baker. Funnily enough we walk past our favourite Op Shop too. LOL... we are hopeless. We didn't even take a second to decide whether we should go in our not. We just colluded beautifully and in we went.
I had a browse however was very aware of the heightened intensity of my experience. My heart was racing, my vision was completely scanning the store for silk, shoes, and treasure of various kinds. It was fascinating.
It's exciting. Not knowing what I may find, what gem I may uncover, what pair of Italian leather, one of a kind, never been worn before high heel shoes I may find on the top shelf!!! OMG... this is so exciting I need a lie down!!!
What is this? Is it something filling me up because life is so empty? Nah! Is it a need to spend money? Maybe. Is it a need to not miss out on something? Getting warmer. Is it a need to have something new which somehow brings a false sense of joy? Hotter. Is it...
Oh dear... interesting hey? It didn't take me long to realise I had just fallen off the wagon and the Indians were surrounding me.
Being honest with myself was a bit difficult. Accepting that this isn't true to do, yet here I am in the store, wasn't easy. I felt disappointed for about a minute until I realised I was aware, that I was able to make a choice now... and so I did.
So I changed my tactic. I stopped shopping for me and I changed my focus to looking for others. I looked at the silk ties for Jerry for work, I looked at the jewellery for my friends and lo and behold I found a great necklace for someone special. I paid $10 for it and know they will love it. It goes away into the box of Xmas presents. I know she will love it and use it and so it won't be considered clutter.
Is this a successful outcome? Hmmm don't know. But what I do know is I had a great opportunity to see my 'addiction' in action. AND how easily Jerry and I collude around consumerism. I also discovered that I don't NEED anything. There was nothing I really needed from that visit. This was a great discovery of reality.
This blog and my commitment to myself to sail this journey for a year is paying me back big time. I expect by the end of the year I won't recognise myself... a common experience over the last 15 years.
Cheers from Deb (still learning on the path)
What came in - 3 items
Op Shop buys: Jerry: 1 shirt and 1 tie / Deb: 1 necklace (Xmas pressie for someone special)
What went out - 3 items
A picture frame I have had for over 20 years and never used, a pair of shoes and a set of paper tabs.
Woohoo!!! We have hit 800 gone-ski items.
INSIGHTS
(1) No matter what we think, say or do, we have the opportunity to learn.
(2) I don't need any 'stuff'
TOTAL: OUT - 800 IN - 115
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
It only takes 5 minutes a day to get into the habit of clearing out the clutter.
Clearing out is the easy part
Stopping the incoming items is the hardest part. The idiom 'nature abhors a vacuum' explains the tension 'naturally' generated when we deem a space empty. It is about redefining the space.
Is it empty or is it open and clear? What does a clear, clean space mean to you? How does it feel? Where will you put the time you used to invest in moving, cleaning and dealing with the clutter? What passion have you got inside your heart that now can be explored?
A reduction of items coming in has meant a big difference to us. We use our time differently. We use our space differently. We appreciate our things so much more.
This journey is changing our lives in a lovely, slow and permanent way.
Have you been inspired? Share your experience here (my blog's facebook group)https://www.facebook.com/groups/427233054096059/
Cheers from Deb (soaking in gratitude)
What went out - 7 items
One pair of shoes and 6 pieces of clothing from Jerry's wardrobe (his choices)
What came in - 0 items
Nothing again...loving this.
INSIGHTS
(1) The definition of clear space impacts how you use it
(2) Stuff has no value what so ever. The way we use stuff makes it valuable.
TOTAL: OUT - 792 IN - 76
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
You have two choices. To sit and do nothing or to get up and do something.
How Simple Actions Can Create Great Change
I opened up one of the sides of my dresser where I stash my soft 'warmies' (pullovers etc). I'm not sure if doing this in summer is smart or really stoooopid. Any-who, a quick try on session and out go 10 items. It felt really good. Someone in need is going to really like these.
This is how the should I or shouldn't I thing went down...
I was sitting in my chair watching TV after a long day. I really didn't want to do anything! However my nagging gone-ski angel was continually tapping me on the shoulder to get up out of that there chair missy. Boy she is pushy sometimes (secretly glad but putting on a sad face anyway).
I realised I had a choice to either sit there or get up and do something. The later was not appealing but I knew it was the truest thing to do. So I dragged myself out of my comfy chair and walked into the bedroom and looked around for a place to investigate. Bam...there it was, my 'warmies'.
I realised I had about 6 of the same kind of zip up pullovers (not really a pullover then are they...LOL). And some of them were just tired, not worn any more and needed to go out. Gone-ski!
The item shown in the picture is going up for sale as it is brand new but I've never worn it. Should add to our holiday fund nicely.
What went out - 10 items
Various pullovers - this makes up for yesterday (snicker)
What came in - 1 items
I bought a ceramic pot for an indoor plant that needs some loving
INSIGHTS
(1) Having others vote on whether to toss something helps a lot
(2) You can only wear one thing at a time
TOTAL: OUT - 785 IN - 76
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
Nothing to report for yesterday other than I notice we are distracted by other things. That happens...no biggy.
What happens when there is no more to clear?
Will this happen before we hit December 31st 2015? Will we run out of gone-ski items by day 365? Interesting question posed by Sammi (miss 12 yr old).
I think the harder this gets, the more we will learn about ourselves. When there are no more items to clear, I am sure there will be a level of gratitude beyond what I have known to date.
I have never wanted for anything other than my true hearts passions. I had everything I needed as a child and throughout the years. I have had tough times financially however over the last many years and it has brought home some truths. All this is leading me somewhere. I can feel it coming. Even the shadows are appearing to prevent the next leap.
It's amazing how when you are walking towards your higher calling, forces appear to block the path. I imagine most reframe this as an indication it is the wrong path. Perfect outcome for preventing the risk of failure, right? After all how would we be if after all this time we fail at the very thing we believe we are here to do?
A better question is...
Do we ever fail? Or is simply not trying the ultimate fail? or...
Do we get so distracted by the 'false' life, the one we chase for our egos happiness...?
How can we know?
All very cool questions to explore....have fun with them?
Cheers from Deb (shadow boxing in stillness)
What went out - 0 items
Nothing....doh!
What came in - 0 items
Phew...nothing.
INSIGHTS
(1) Awareness of all aspects of the journey bring freedom, including the shadows
(2) The more tension applied the greater the results (let's see how we feel at day 365)
TOTAL: OUT - 775 IN - 67
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
A quick look in my pile of jeans and pants and I find 3 gone-ski items.
Being tired and late causes consumer fever
Yesterday we had an appointment in North Sydney that finished at 7:30 pm. Jerry had to get up at 3 am for a film shoot and we were still 2 hours from home with no dinner in sight. Consumer alert!
We caught a cab to the station looking for a quick bite to eat...and there it was, an Italian restaurant with our name all over it. Both of us were tired, hungry and over the day. The perfect recipe for impulse consumerism.
We enjoy a pizza, a salad and a couple of glasses of wine. $60 later we were on our way home to bed.
How do I feel about that? Well, mixed feelings but the most important thing is it shines a light on our 'late to bed habits' and 'poor planning'. This is something within our control and good to see so clearly.
One of Steven Covey's 7 habits (of Highly Effective People) is 'sharpen the saw'. This means take the time to set yourself up for success. Prepare your tools, plan well, organise and action that which is important. It's a bit like painting, all the work and value is in the preparation...the painting is the icing on the cake.
We need to plan better, sleep more and look after our overall needs consciously.
This journey gives so much more to the whole of our lives than expected.
Cheers from Deb (the garlic breath adventurer)
What went out - 3 items
Pants that need to be set free...bye, bye.
What came in - 0 items
Doing a happy dance.
INSIGHTS
(1) Our home made pizzas are way better than a hurried Italian on a Thursday night
(2) Down time is as important than action. Doing either half hearted will hold you back
TOTAL: OUT - 781 IN - 68
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
When you do a little every day towards a choice in life, things shift permanently.
More space equals more connection
It is incredible to me how this small change have made such a big difference. Last night I was in our daughter's room as she was doing homework. The room felt different. It had more space in it for her to express herself. It looked cleaner even though she was busy with things here and there. It was inviting. It was actually the first time she had done her homework in her room...and the first time I had gone in and worked along side her.
I notice we are using the house differently. When an area is free from clutter it's much more inviting.
I don't know where this will end. Actually as I write this I realise it will never end... like anything we change, it keeps morphing and shifting as we continue to grow into our true expression of self. And as we discover more of ourselves and life, we lift our sights even further on our true (higher) self.
Hope your journey is evolving through your choices and actions...and not through circumstances.
When we are clear on our choices in life AND when we take action towards those choices, shift happens. Small daily actions become massive leaps in achieving an outcome. Ask any author, artist, sports person, academic, etc. You cannot 'cram' life. It just doesn't work that way. And no matter what circumstances occur, how far they bump you off the path, knowing the path and continuing to walk it is all you need to do. The moment you let circumstances guide you, you are at the mercy of everyone else's journey, not yours.
The trick is to be relentlessly dedicated to your choices, your outcome. You will be surprised at how quickly life shifts.. and your heart will start to blossom.
Cheers from Deb (a ponderer of life)
What went out - 1 items
Another loiterer in my wardrobe (what was I thinking...LOL)
What came in - 1 items
Can opener (had to replace our broken, silly billy one)
INSIGHTS
(1) Even the smallest, most modest of homes can be transformed by clean space
(2) Nothing beats spending time with those you love
TOTAL: OUT - 776 IN - 68
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
Why do we keep things we don't use?
It's too good to get rid of it... really?!
Let's explore this logic shall we? We get things and we can see they are beautifully made, good quality, etc. Yet for some reason it is not something we want, need or even like. You know the things I am talking about. That top your mum gave you, the dish you were given for your birthday, that ornament from your friend, that outfit your bought but never wear... the list goes on!
So what do we do?
Most of us keep them because of the sentimental value. Some can't get rid of them because "it's too good to get rid of it"... or "there's nothing wrong with it" or "but aunty Mary gave it to me". The list of reasons go on.
So how do we make the decision? What do we ask ourselves to enable the truest choice?
We could ask one simple question "If I didn't have this, would I buy it?" And if the answer is no, GONE-SKI!!
It's as simple as that. Isn't it? YES?....do I hear you say "but"? Explore your 'buts' there is gold in them there 'buts' folks.
The other side to this equation is of course to stop things coming in. This is a great opportunity to let your family and friends know not to buy you anything that will clog up your home
What if, giving it away helps both you and the person that gets it?
By taking the things out of your home / life that are not there by your choice, you clear the space, you enable other things to be welcomed, you don't carry that 'must, should, have to' energy, you detach from the consumerism story and you find a new sense of freedom.
By giving these things away other people benefit. And it is even better if they are quality items, that are loved etc. Why not make someone else's day by donating these things to people who actually WANT them?
By helping yourself, you help another. Perfect!!
Cheers from Deb (looking beyond the dilemmas)
INSIGHTS
(1) Holding onto items that don't add value to our lives, clogs our flow
(2) People in need would be so joyous to receive items we hoard
What went out - 5 items
3 of my tops, 2 of Jerry's old (too good to get rid of...) sports coats...LOL
What came in - 0 items
Loving this equation...feeling it too
TOTAL: OUT - 775 IN - 67
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
Love is such a special gift it is always worth celebrating.
All you need is love... (dah da da da daaaahhhh)
Love comes in many packages and in most cases challenges us along the journey. It is a
blessing to find a partner that understands and cherishes you. Deep love will push our buttons and have us grow into more of our hearts... that is, if we are brave enough to go the distance.
When it comes to a crazy tradition like Valentines Day, the expectations completely take over and have most of us join in the retail ritual of no return. So rather than be part of the consumer calendar perhaps we can dip into our imagination and create special moments from the heart and not the wallet.
Here are a few ideas...
- Give your partner a loving massage with all the trimmings - music, lighting, essential oils.
- Create a picnic and enjoy a cuddle under a tree
- Write a little love note and leave it somewhere as a surprise
- Watch his or her favourite movie with some home-made nibbles and a glass of wine
- Take a different way home and stop off at the beach for a walk in the sand
- Holding hands
- Sharing your ice-cream for the very first time
- Leave life's 'have to's' and spend time doing something together
- Turn the TV off, leave phones in another room and BE with each other
- Ask them on a date... create some fun around the anticipation
Enjoy every day you can as they're all special...as are you.
Cheers from Deb (high priestess of love)
What went out - 5 items
A couple of CD's, a game and a DVD
What came in - 0 items
Zero
INSIGHTS
(1) There are more than 50 shades of romance
(2) Nothing beats authentic romance from the heart
TOTAL: OUT - 768 IN - 66
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
It takes me only 2 minutes a day to clear our the crap.
Take the challenge
If you are a little sick of the closet you can't get one more thing in.... or ANYTHING out, then maybe this challenge is for you.
Once you finish reading this short little blog, get up off your chair no matter where you are (oh unless you are in a bus...LOL) and find five things you can trash, donate or sell.
Here are a few ideas:
- Walk into your kitchen and open that second drawer and you will see heaps of things you can get rid of.
Go into your wardrobe and find five pieces of clothing you have not worn for over two years. I bet you find more than five.
Open your bathroom vanity drawer or cupboard and look at the empty bottles, half bottles, unopened bottles of lotions and potions...surely there are at least five that can go.
And last but not least....go to your shoes and see if you can find five pairs that need to be escorted out of the building.
Don't just sit there...off you go.
And let me know how many you find https://www.facebook.com/groups/427233054096059/?fref=ts - drop a message on our Facebook group
Cheers from Deb Field (chief crap finder)
What went out - 7 items
I opened my wardrobe and found 7 tops I don't want any more... GONE! Yes, I know, over achiever (looking at the ground, kicking the dirt with my shoes)
What came in - 0 items
A big fat zero again...yay!
INSIGHTS
(1) Lots of people are joining me on this journey (how cool)
(2) Its easy to make any change when you do it with friends
TOTAL: OUT - 761 IN - 66
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $43
Have you ever had a closet so full you can't find a thing in it?
Less is definitely more!
Now that we are thinning out the crap, we are finding things we have been missing for years. Because we are tossing out the 'stuff', we are left with only the things we love and need... and we are not fighting through overfilled closets to get to them.
The truth is, we have a long way to go however it is becoming increasingly obvious that we have so much more when we have less.
Minimalism isn't really my thing... I don't think (scratching head now...hmmmm). You never know, maybe (reflecting now...I won't be a minute).
One thing is for sure, as we clear out the clutter and slow the flow in, we are living a much fuller life.
It is also obvious there is less for us to attend to at home. Less shuffling things around, less cleaning of 'stuff', less shuffling through piles, and less visual noise in the space.
I said to Jerry tonight that it will be interesting to see what our home is like at the end of this year. We are attempting to do this for 365 days. Perhaps we will end up with a few stools and a card table...LOL.
Cheers all from Deb Field (newly appointed queen of shift happens)
What went out - 8 items
Books - pregnancy ones and a few I will never read
What came in - 0 items
Love it when I write zero
INSIGHTS
(1) Empty space enables so much more
(2) The demands of the material world are meaningless and empty
(3) The desires of the heart bring sustainable joy
TOTAL: OUT - 753 IN - 66
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $43
Getting the clutter out of the house is unbelievable. Imagine what it will be like by the end of the year...yes, we are going for 365 days.
Focus creates reality
When we first started this journey I decided to write this blog to keep myself honest. I am not sure who's reading this, giggling at it, or if it's having an impact... but I can tell you, being accountable to this blog every day MAKES IT HAPPEN.
Our home is starting to breath easier. Not that it was full to the brim... but it is a tiny home and really doesn't like lots of stuff.
The outcome of this commitment is new behaviours are forming, new principles are developing and our appreciation for experiences has gone into hyper drive.
Having a focus, we not only get amazing results, we gain an awareness of our shadow self and reveals unconscious beliefs, assumptions and addictions. We are loving the results and the journey....bring it!!
What went out - 42 items
We cleaned up under Sammi's desk in her room to enable her to do homework in peace. We then did the bottom of her wardrobe. We found lots of things she got as a young child.
What came in - 0 items
Doing the happy dance...oh yeah!!
INSIGHTS
(1) Focus enables a deeper level of self-reflection
(2) Just because something is beautiful, it doesn't mean you have to keep it.
TOTAL: OUT - 691 IN - 49
OMG... I just found 6 audio cassettes in our bookcase! WTF!! We haven't had an cassette player for over 10 years. What does that tell you?
What was hilarious was my impulse to save them and somehow get them converted... NO!!!! I have not reached for these forever so why do I think I will use them in the future. GONE-SKI!!
What went out - 22 items
A pile of audio cassettes, a stack of those small little books you only read once... like '60 Ways To Feel Amazing". Isn't it incredible that I have felt amazing so often and haven't needed the book to do so. Gone!
What went in - 0 items
Nothing. And no desire to go out and buy anything. One thing I notice now is, every thought I have of something we need, I instantly think wish-list, not shopping.
INSIGHTS
(1) Holding onto anything we have never reached for reveals a belief of some kind
(2) The money spent on impulse buys is better used to create experiences
TOTAL: OUT - 648 IN - 49
There is no way I would have realised how much this ghastly consumerism costs me without looking at the numbers.
We reduced our impulse spends by 85% and saved over $1000. We Rock!
What do our bank accounts tell me?
We looked at our bank accounts from last year and the impulse buys stood out like big hot steaming turds. It was sickening to see how many things we bought from impulse....we were the marketers dream couple. Drawn in by the shiny, sparkling signs and juiced up by the 'bargains' we found.
It's a scam people!!
Browsing our bank accounts showed that most of the non-necessity spending was impulse buys.
We both had colluded on this unconscious way of living...and we are darn glad it has stopped!!
Here are the impulse spends that jumped off the bank statements:
- dinners out (always impulsive, never planned)
- clothes shopping (never planned)
- op shopping (no predetermine plan to buy)
- DVDs (no real plan to buy until we passed the store)
- Nights out after work (mostly alcohol costs)
In January 2014 we spent $1195 on impulse consumerism!! How stupid is that?
This year we spent only $185 with two dinners, one night after work, 2 DVDs and a quick bite before the movies being all we spent. Although these have been considered impulse buys, all but the DVDs were discussed well before the decision was made to spend.
Being in the business improvement industry, I love data. The numbers tell you the truth. The data tells me that things are shifting big time for our family and it is all because we made a decision....here it is.
DECISION: To let go of the false relationship and compulsive need (addiction) from the consumer culture I have happily, if unconsciously colluded with. To experience myself, others and life via a relationship built on connection, creating and discovery.
This decision has changed our lives!
What went out - 2 items
Two more coats left the building. One watermelon coat I have only worn once and one 1960 coat I have worn twice. Both really nice....but no longer considered part of the family.
What came in - 0 items
It is wonderful to have nothing coming in
INSIGHTS
(1) Ignorance may be bliss, but consciousness is empowering
(2) I have gained so much more than money from this shift
TOTAL: OUT - 627 IN - 49
Sometimes I feel like I live in the matrix without any blue pill.
I am embarrassed to say how many black coats I had (until this morning). Seventeen!! WTF!!??!!
How could this be? How could I have seventeen different black coats? Admittedly I didn't pay full retail for most of them, but still they were part of my consumerism madness.
Even when I counted them it seemed impossible that there were seventeen. OMG!
So out with the old... and no way is there going to be any new. Enough is enough, no matter how much of a bargain they appear to be.
What went out - 4 items
Four coats that I find myself no longer wearing
What came in - 0 items
Nothing new came in da house
INSIGHTS
(1) A bargain is something I find at a ridiculously good price, that is ON MY WISH-LIST
(2) There is such a thing as TOO MUCH
TOTAL: OUT - 625 IN - 49
I decided to do on top of the fridge... it was hilarious!
Take it all off first
My way of de-cluttering is to take it all out first and only put back what I would buy if I didn't already have it - a good principle to work by.
So everything came off the top of the fridge and in the end NOTHING remained... LOL.
The two boxes of spare champagne glasses we have (when the thirty people come for a party), the massive cane tray we have NEVER used, the heart shaped (coated) baking tray and plastic cupcake liners are all going to a better home.
The serviettes, place mats, and hand towels have been put in a more handy place.
The six more empty boxes were added to the gone-ski pile.
What will I put on top of my fridge? Not wine as it is too warm, not anything heavy as it is silly.. how about my cook books? They are currently hidden away in a cabinet...out of sight, out of mind.
Ok...here's what I am going to do. I will find an old wooden box that I can repurpose and put my cook books on top of the fridge. That way I can use them more often and enjoy more cooking with my family... yay!!
What went out - 11 items
6 more empty boxes, a cake tin, 2 trays, an old oil bottle (that would not clean properly), and a set of plastic cupcake cookware.
What came in - 0 items
It is amazing how little interest in shopping I have at the moment. WTF is wrong with me!?!
INSIGHTS
(1) Creating clear space is so refreshing to my soul
(2) There is often a better place to put things
TOTAL: OUT - 620 IN - 48
I was wandering around the house trying to find the next place of focus. I looked up above the pantry in the kitchen....BAM!!
How long have you been there hidden in plain sight? LOL
There were 4 empty wine and beer glass boxes. Now I could argue that I may need them one day to pack up and move, or take them on a picnic, or some other reason to keep them. But the honest truth is, I may never use those boxes again... and all they will ever do is sit there and take up space and create an eyesore. Gone-ski!!
So is keeping the boxes about saving? Saving waste, saving the environment by preventing having to buy another one, saving time by having it available now etc.
Where is the line between useful saving and hoarding where the cost of keeping outweighs the value of letting go?
This is a trap for us all in one way or another. Hoarding (I believe) is the 'need' to keep...just in case. Our 'just in case' reasons are unique to us.
Here's a question:
Does this item constrain me, prevent my freedom, invade our space, take time but give little back, demand energy or distract me from my passions?
or
Does this item expand me, enable my freedom, add to my passion, bring joy to our space, enable a better future, inspire us etc?
It's interesting that is happening at this time of life as I watch my parents having to consider down-sizing. What do they do with all the 'stuff' they have accumulated?
Interesting!
What went out - 4 items
4 wine glass boxes. Aren't they funny things to keep.
What came in - 0 items
Doing great on this now.
INSIGHTS
(1) There are things that have been there all along that I cannot see (as in life)
(2) I don't really NEED much
TOTAL: OUT - 609 IN - 48
It was my birthday today. The rain insisted we cancel the beach dinner party we had planned... and we didn't fancy organising the house for 20+ guests for dinner and drinks, so we just called it off in the spirit of 'ease and grace'.
This enabled me to open up to a new day of opportunities to celebrate.
The Gift of Time
I had the day off work, Sammi was on her last day of school holidays (starting high school tomorrow), Jerry had to go into the office and so Sammi and I decided to just chill out at home, letting the day unfold on it's own.
A Facebook message from a friend came in suggesting a café catchup for lunch. Perfect!! She had a place in mind with soul-full food that she had heard was great.
The food was spectacular, the ambiance was terrible; on a foot-path, on a main road, on a damp, rainy day... but it was the best lunch ever!
We shared more of ourselves in that three hours than we had had the chance to since meeting years ago. We laughed, cried, shared insights and our hearts. Most of all, we shared compassion and understanding for the really tough journey we had been on.
My heart just melted.
Caroline bought us lunch as a gift... but we both knew the real gift was the moments shared.
Juicy conversation
Next a text arrived from my beautiful friend Maree... yay! We met at a café and enjoyed a fresh juice while we caught up. It was just perfect. Another gift of time and connection.
Dinner and PRESENTS!!
We got home in time to greet Jerry home from work. We settled in for the night creating a simple dinner of vegetarian, make it yourself, wraps!! My favourite 'easy' meal. Steve (Ex hubby) joined us.
The celebrations began...and out came the presents. OH NO!!!
Steve proudly presented his WRAPPED bottles of wine and a CARD. We laughed. He was so proud of his purchase because it was something we could use, that would not clutter. It then dawned on him that the wrapping and card were the joke.
Sammi then presented her gift in the store bag... some earrings...yay! I then held her hand and said... now give me your card from your heart. She looked deep into my eyes and shared her feelings with me... it was gorgeous!
Now that's a heart-card.
Jerry then gave me my second present of the day (the first was a beautiful silver and turquoise pendant), a mobile charging unit.... yippee!! I loved it. I always steal his when out and about. It holds enough charge for 5 iPhones. Oh yeah!!
Oh, and it was in an old gift box (recycled). I loved that he did that!
He then spoke his heart-card... gorgeous!
But wait there's more...
Then he comes back into the room with another present...WTF!! Lucky me. It was in the store wrapping (yay) and was from IKOU - the organic goodies I buy. Yay...no clutter. It had a candle, some massage oil and a loufa.
We had a great night... relaxed, loving and full.
What went out - 11 items
I went through my belts drawer and put 11 in the donation box.
What came in - 5 items
My turquoise necklace, the loufa, the bag the IKOU goodies came in, the charging pack, and the earrings.
.
INSIGHTS
(1) Moments are the greatest gift of all
(2) When I open up to connection... the world connects
TOTAL: OUT - 586 IN - 48
I know this article is about living out of one and a half pieces of luggage, however, I have to go back to where it all started in order to identify the strict criterion used to get to this state of lightness.
What's Yours and What's Mine
In June 2000 my mother passed away. My sister and I were left the task of finalizing her estate which basically meant splitting everything down the middle. Even then I wasn’t a hoarder and was happy to give my sister more than my share so we set about divvying up her belongings.
The interesting part of the exercise was to acknowledge what Mum found important possessions. Having been born and brought up in the years after WW1, it was most apparent how those years had affected her by going through her wardrobe.
She didn’t have a lot of clothes but the ones she did have were of good quality and each item could be worn with the others giving her multiple choice when it came to picking an outfit for the day.
Our biggest challenge came when we focussed on the rest of the household. This is where Mum’s vanity – if you could call it that – became obvious. She had worked for Grace Bros for many years and consequently she had Manchester; Dinner Sets; Crystal glassware; and Lladro porcelain figurines en masse. This is what people saw when they came to visit – this was Mum on ‘show’ to how others would perceive her ‘standing’ in life.
Well, we emptied her house and filled our own with more than enough.
After a year or two or more, I finally gathered the jumpers and cardigans, skirts and blouses and all the other items of clothing belonging to Mum and took them to St Vinnies. It had finally dawned on me (as I moved from one rental property to the next) that I kept bringing all these things with me that I never wore! I mean who wants to look like a well-dressed 75 year old when you’re only 50.
That’s where it all started. From that moment on I began to separate out what belonged to me. It was no use hanging on to someone else’s memories of their good times; or favourite moments; or their choice of what they wanted to surround themselves with and what they thought was valuable. For me it was a burden (from a logistic point of view) until I clarified that I would not be being disloyal to my mother’s memory if I got rid of her stuff.
Travels of Miz Beaver
So when it came to ‘leaving home’ last year my most important criteria was:
Can it be replaced? If not, it stays. (Small confession – my son is holding a few boxes for me but they are mainly irreplaceable moments of my life and his baby years)
Is it something that I value irretrievably? (i.e., would I miss not having it? A small amount of possessions that I want to have around me someday)
Does it still fit? Am I still the same person now as the one I was when I bought it?
Especially with this last criterion I started to see myself and what I really needed to be me. It doesn’t really take a lot when you get down to the nitty gritty of what shows your true value since most people are looking at you – not in your drawers – well at least I hope not… hehe.
And do you know what I managed to stuff into that last little pocket in my suitcase? My paint brushes!
Loving you all
Suzanne
Notes from Deb
My questions would be:
(1) How many shoes did you need?
(2) How big are those bags?
(3) Do you regret any decisions made in the de-clutter?
