Day 38: The (REAL) Story of Stuff

Today we watched a video about 'the story of stuff'. We had seen this a few years ago but today it landed big time... we all sat here talking about things we could do.  

It doesn't getting any more real than this

I asked Sammi (12 years old) how she felt after watching this movie.. she said "sad, annoyed and cranky at the people who've made this happen". I said "what do you think we should do about it?" She said "let's recycle, make compost and a vegie garden, shop less and make good choices if we do shop...and become a non-consumer. She said "the last three are already ticked off...we are doing this now".

She was clearly shaken by seeing the unsustainable system which kicked off in the 1950's. We have all been sucked into the vortex of this machine. BTW there are no winners. Sure the fat cats are making the big money now... but it is only short term satisfaction... and it simply cannot last!

These corporates are going to lose eventually... quality of life, family, health, connection etc. Then what?


Click here to watch the STORY  OF STUFF video

We can reclaim happiness and connection right now

We made the choice 38 day ago to undo that which we have entangled ourselves in. We have become dedicated to the truth of this and are slowly but surely shifting all aspects of consumerism in our lives. 

The end result is we are spending less, and enjoying more quality time with friends, family and our hearts passions.

 

Yesterday we went shopping - can you believe it!!

We went to the shopping mall to go to the movies. This is a family (weekly) event given it is my husbands craft and something we enjoy together. We saw 'The Theory of Everything'. It was another reminder of the important things in life.

We didn't impulse buy anything. Yay us!!

We got out our online wish-lists and bought a few items on the top of the lists. 

Sammi - an umbrella, twisty towels for her wet hair.
Deb - herbal tea canister (and some tea)
Jerry - coat hangers (wooden), 2 x tea cups (as we only had 2 in the house).

We did however stumble across a good reminder of this crazy consumer world. The video 'Confession of a SHOPAHOLIC' caught our eye and we all laughed.

Just look at the STUFF on the shelves behind me... OMG!! It now makes me feel sick and overwhelmed looking at it. Thank goodness we are turning this thing around.

What went out - 32 items

Old plastic coat- hangers and some baby wooden coat-hangers (we will pass these on), and some junk from Sammi's room (yes more).  

What came in - 15 items

13 items from our wish-list plus two hand driven torches from a friend which tick off an item from Jerry's wish-list.

INSIGHTS

(1) We are part of a system and don't know it.
(2) The system thrives as long as we remain unconscious
(3) The current consumer system is unsustainable and therefore terminal
(4) We need a new system... let's create it together

TOTAL: OUT - 740  IN - 64

  

Day 33: One Decision Saved over $1000 this Month

There is no way I would have realised how much this ghastly consumerism costs me without looking at the numbers. 

We reduced our impulse spends by 85% and saved over $1000. We Rock!

What do our bank accounts tell me?

We looked at our bank accounts from last year and the impulse buys stood out like big hot steaming turds. It was sickening to see how many things we bought from impulse....we were the marketers dream couple. Drawn in by the shiny, sparkling signs and juiced up by the 'bargains' we found.

It's a scam people!! 

Browsing our bank accounts showed that most of the non-necessity spending was impulse buys. 

We both had colluded on this unconscious way of living...and we are darn glad it has stopped!! 

Here are the impulse spends that jumped off the bank statements:

• dinners out (always impulsive, never planned)
• clothes shopping (never planned)
• op shopping (no predetermine plan to buy)
• DVDs (no real plan to buy until we passed the store)
• Nights out after work (mostly alcohol costs)

In January 2014 we spent $1195 on impulse consumerism!! How stupid is that?

This year we spent only $185 with two dinners, one night after work, 2 DVDs and a quick bite before the movies being all we spent. Although these have been considered impulse buys, all but the DVDs were discussed well before the decision was made to spend.

Being in the business improvement industry, I love data. The numbers tell you the truth. The data tells me that things are shifting big time for our family and it is all because we made a decision....here it is. 

DECISION: To let go of the false relationship and compulsive need (addiction) from the consumer culture I have happily, if unconsciously colluded with. To experience myself, others and life via a relationship built on connection, creating and discovery.

This decision has changed our lives!

What went out - 2 items

Two more coats left the building. One watermelon coat I have only worn once and one 1960 coat I have worn twice. Both really nice....but no longer considered part of the family.

What came in - 0 items

It is wonderful to have nothing coming in
 

INSIGHTS

(1) Ignorance may be bliss, but consciousness is empowering
(2) I have gained so much more than money from this shift
 

TOTAL: OUT - 627   IN - 49

Guest Blog by Mary Atkins: SPOILT FOR CHOICE

The Mall, the grand temple of consumerism, promises us so much satisfaction. As we pace the avenues of shiny windowed retailers our senses are aroused with trinkets, fashion and style. The Malls are open seven days a week and we can even indulge in shopping from the comfort of our own bed thanks to television and the internet.  A bombardment of clever marketing feeds our desire to ‘shop till we drop.’

Nearly two decades ago the Chicago Tribune commented ‘We've become a nation measuring out our lives in shopping bags and nursing our psychic ills through retail therapy.’

So does retail therapy and its cornucopia of abundance make us happy, well according to the studies by American psychologists David Myers and Robert Lane this modern day consumer bonanza often leads to depression and feelings of loneliness. Barry Schwartz author of the book The Paradox of Choice - Why More Is Less asserts that as consumers we have too many choices, too many decisions that make us confused and anxious and leaves us too little time to do what really is important. 

He believes we are happier when we have less choice citing an interesting study by Columbia and Stanford Universities that found that when participants were faced with a smaller rather than larger array of chocolates, they were actually more satisfied with their tasting.

Maybe this explains the modern day phenomenon of our love affair with branding and our fascination with ridiculously priced items.  A brand, especially a glossy luxury brand, is like some great retail God sign that the BRAND is the key to consumer nirvana. Then for the shoe fetish amongst us, it seems the only way our consumer ethos can be enriched is by the purchase of a pair of Jimmy Choo or Manolo Blahnik shoes.

Compare this with the simpler time of my life as a child and young woman, where one pair of shoes, commensurate with our growth, and one pair of slippers was the norm. ‘Make do and mend’ was the catch cry for the British people in wartime and post war England.

When rationing was eventually dissembled fourteen years after it began in 1954 the lesson of thriftiness had well and truly been learned. My father still mended our shoes, we grew our own vegetables, leftovers were never left to mould, every piece of the carcass of meat or poultry was used. ‘Built in obsolescence’ and ‘de-clutter’ and ‘keeping up with Jones’s’ was not to be found in any dictionary. Nothing was thrown out. We recycled and made do.

But so many everyday foods and goods we did without. All my clothes were hand-me-downs. I ate my first piece of steak, a banana and chocolate when I was eight.  A fresh egg, rather than powdered egg was a luxury.

Did these limited choices make us happier? Life was definitely simpler and shopping was about meeting our primary needs rather than wants. There was no acquaintance with a shiny new whatever to stir the covetousness of our unfilled wants. We accepted that this was how it was and dreamed of better days when rationing was over and we could indulge freely.

Frugality and abundance are the opposite ends of the spectrum both equal in their impact.  Too little dampens the spirit and too much sends us skittering out of control with a desire for more and more.

In Vietnam the market traders have coined an expression for the tourist customers  - ‘You see, you like. You like, you buy. You buy, you have. You have, you like,’ which sums up today’s pop shopping culture of our desire for instant gratification.  But if we absorb the conclusion from the psychologists’ studies that too much choice makes us confused and anxious we see clearly that real happiness lies in an ability to live more simply. 

Ideally it is about creating a balance; understanding that there is a difference between a spur of the moment ‘that’s nice’ buy and a genuine want - a quality choice that will nurture us.

 

Mary Atkins

19 January 2015

Day12: Pulling the Trigger on the Wish-List

A quick trip to the shops was required to pick up some pens for Miss 12 year old. We also wanted to get Jerry a tea cup as we are both drinking tea now more than coffee and we only have one tea cup...LOL And yes, both items are on our wish lists. First wish-list purchases.

While we were out and about Sammi wanted to show me the curved screen TV. We made a conscious choice not to go through the '3 blue-ray DVDs for $30' bin, nor look at any iPhone accessories, or other very tempting techie stuff. It was easy once we made the choice. The TV was ok and interesting but that was about it.

Then as we passed the travel agents shop front I remembered our wish-list adventures we have been dreaming up. So I went in and grabbed two brochures for Tasmania and Romantic Getaways. Good for me, no expenditure and starting to fuel our heart choices.

Then off we went... SUDDENLY it dawns on me that these two brochures, that we are surely to flick through and throw out are clutter!! BUSTED!! So we walked back to the store and put them back on the very colourful, glossy covered, 'take me' shelf. And out we went proud as punch that we had once again avoided the consumer game we are playing on ourselves. 

On the way home Sammi and I calculated how much we saved by not impulse buying things like take-away food etc. It added up to $60.50. How about that.

What went out - 3 items

How many candle holders do you really need? A quick look in the candle cupboard and consumer pennies start dropping everywhere. So out go 3 candle holders we have NEVER used.

What came in - 5 items

4 pens from Sammi's wish-list and 1 tea cup from Jerry's wish-list.

INSIGHTS
(1) Anything I bring into our home or into our lives has to enhance it or move us closer to our choices. Otherwise it is clutter.
(2) Every decision NOT to buy something is taking us forward.

TOTAL: OUT - 307   IN - 9

Day 9: "It WILL Try to Kill You"

There is no such things as cramming when it comes to changing a behaviour. It takes a real choice followed by consistent action in line with that choice. Of course you can fail, stumble and even fall... but to get up and keep going is the sign of commitment.

When you take on the taming of a personal dragon it is wise to know you are not in a battle with the dragon because once this is over you will jump upon your dragons back and ride her into the new world.

My dragon is my need to be filled up by external 'things'. It has brought me all kinds of capabilities, passions, skills and awareness. Once I have tamed her these attributes will be reassigned to what is more true to do. I can already feel the difference. I am definitely working towards something way more important than 'stuff'. Patience and trust are the energies growing wings.

Today I spent most of my time working and then sleeping. I am very tired. I think a lot is going on emotionally and so therefore it is taking a toll on me physically. So prior to going to bed I asked my daughter to find a few things we can clear out as I am too tired to get up and do it. She brought six things for the gone-ski box. Brilliant!

What went out - 6 items

Thanks Miss Sammi for finding another 6 items . One wonders just how many 'things' will appear from her room. Might be like one of those clown cars. 

What came in - 0 items

Another trip to the supermarket to get food. We did brilliantly buying mostly only items on the shopping list. We added 6 nectarines, blueberries, pear, mushrooms, blue cheese, liquorice tea and chicken necks for the dog. Yes all impulse buys... must put more time into the list prior to leaving the house because the list was done standing in the car part prior to going in....way too rushed. 

INSIGHTS

(1) When your tired, rest
(2) Put time into your lists before you hit the shops
(3) Deviating from the list comes in two flavours - (1) demanding teenager or (2) forgetful adult. Feel the energy of the purchase. If it is on an end cap or check out stand it may even be the six year old priming for a tantrum. 


TOTAL: OUT - 295   IN - 4

Day 8: Establishing the Gone-ski Process

It appears easy, sixteen items out and zero in. Simple, but not so easy. Where are the sixteen items going?

To be able to really play this game well you have to establish a way to get the things OUT of your life!! This is what I call the 'gone-ski process'. And of course it is worth considering not wasting things of value.

To be able to continue the flow out of our lives we have established 4 baskets:
(1) DONATE: for items going to the op shop 
(2) SELL: for items too good to give away that can go to friends, be re-gifted or sell 
(3) TRASH: gets thrown away
(4) REPAIR: for items needing repair (anything staying in this basket too long gets trashed

We have used existing baskets we had in various cabinets around the house. In essence we have recycled their use and in the process emptied the crap out of them. We have put the baskets in a really easy to get to place. This keeps it real.  

Without this distribution process I think I may have piles of stuff lying around eventually causing more clutter. This way there is a clear place to put things and a method to redistribute OUT of the house.

 

 

What can happen when you have a quiet day at home

I did a bit of a clean up at home and found 12 items for the gone-ski baskets. Sammi joined me at around 1pm and we decided it would be fun to play Boggle. We had a blast and she learned a few words.

When putting it away we noticed a cane basket in the TV cabinet which has been untouched for around 3 years. We laughed and laughed at the things Sammi kept squirrelled away in there. All 104 things in that basket were set free and put in the gone-ski baskets. Most went to the trash.

What went out - 115 items

Mostly little plastic toys, used craft items and a few tops, old wooden cupboard drawers (don't even ask me why I have them...LOL) and a few items from the kitchen we just never use. 

 

What came in - 0 items

Even though I went to the shops, nothing other than the items on my very small food shopping list came home. I was just so darn pleased with myself as I drove out of the shopping centre that I had not been drawn into the consumer prison I had built myself.   

 

INSIGHTS

(1) Recognise every success, whether small or large, as this creates momentum.
(2) Observe self and others without judgement. Any judgement is a reflection of a personal belief inside myself and has nothing to do with anyone else.   

 

TOTAL: OUT - 289   IN - 4

Day 7: The Shopping Centre Seduction

Today I took a break and ventured out into the central business district of Sydney. It was amazing how my perspective has changed. I was perplexed by all the activity, crazy energy and disconnection from what really matters.

I recognised this so well because it has been a big part of my ego for so long. And I am guessing it will not disappear without a bit of a fight.

I went to the ATM to get some cash for lunch. I walked over to  Market City (a small shopping centre near Central Station). As soon as my eyes took in the lights, colours, sounds and 'for sale' signs, I instantly had the urge to shop. WHAT!!??

How quickly the cellular memory kicks in and the 'let's buy it' addictive consumer tries to wrestle the steering wheel away from my 'no thanks' clever consumer. I felt it, I recognised it and I re-focussed my energy back to the only reason I was there... to grab a healthy quick lunch. And that is exactly what I did. Yay me!!

 

Here are a few things to know about Shopping Centres:

• They are set up architecturally to disorientate you. The entrance is often simple and pleasant before you interact with the bling, bang and cha-ching of the mall
• There are no clocks
• There are no views of the outside world
• The lighting, reflective floor and noise are designed to get you into stores
• All specials and impulse buys are immediately to your right as you enter a store
• Commonly purchased items are positioned in the back of the stores in different areas to make you move around and impulse buy more
• Escalators are positioned to ensure you move past as many stores as possible
• There is plenty of food so you can fill up and stick around    

Ikea are the masters of manipulation as they ensure you interact with full rooms and disorientate you through their maze with a pretty good chance you will buy loads of smaller, cheaper items as you move through. The outcome is generally 60% more items are purchased than what you intended to buy. Clever aren't they?

 

What went out - 11 items

I went through the draws in our bedroom where all my tops, t-shirts and cardigans live. I found items I have put on many times but always tend to take them off. They are in great condition, love the colours but never wear them. Gone-ski!! 

 

What came in - 0 items

Nothing came in to our home and I am starting to FEEL AMAZING about this. I am very aware of how this changing the way I live life. An unfolding of a new way to be in life. Love it!!

 

Insights

(1) If I am going to out to consciously buy I need to put on my game face and stay focussed.
(2) There are heaps of things in our house we simply don't use.
(3) There is no rush to de-cluttering and becoming a conscious consumer. I am happy to take my time and make this a new behaviour and way of thinking.

 

TOTAL: OUT - 174   IN - 4