A couple of social events in a row, ok 6 in a row, and BAM I am knocked off my centre. Speaks volumes.
What takes us from our purpose?
We all have honest desires, passions and goals in life. They can be driven from various parts of our character. Regardless of the outcome we get the opportunity to grow.
In my way of seeing life, two parts of us are participating at any given time. There is our true nature, our heart, our higher self...then there is our wounded self which bases its view on experiences of the past.
Knowing this exists in all of us makes it easy to understand self and others.
I like to experiment in life. I like to take on small challenges and see what they reveal. This blog about jumping off the consumerism train is providing the best vehicle to the next level of growth.
Personal insights are the elixir of life. They feed us and enable us to continue along the path of the unknown. Developing personal trust in self and something outside of self expands the playing field of life. Game on people!
Oh NO!! an Op Shop!!!
We walked up the street in Glebe on Sunday morning to pick up some sour dough bread from our favourite baker. Funnily enough we walk past our favourite Op Shop too. LOL... we are hopeless. We didn't even take a second to decide whether we should go in our not. We just colluded beautifully and in we went.
I had a browse however was very aware of the heightened intensity of my experience. My heart was racing, my vision was completely scanning the store for silk, shoes, and treasure of various kinds. It was fascinating.
It's exciting. Not knowing what I may find, what gem I may uncover, what pair of Italian leather, one of a kind, never been worn before high heel shoes I may find on the top shelf!!! OMG... this is so exciting I need a lie down!!!
What is this? Is it something filling me up because life is so empty? Nah! Is it a need to spend money? Maybe. Is it a need to not miss out on something? Getting warmer. Is it a need to have something new which somehow brings a false sense of joy? Hotter. Is it...
Oh dear... interesting hey? It didn't take me long to realise I had just fallen off the wagon and the Indians were surrounding me.
Being honest with myself was a bit difficult. Accepting that this isn't true to do, yet here I am in the store, wasn't easy. I felt disappointed for about a minute until I realised I was aware, that I was able to make a choice now... and so I did.
So I changed my tactic. I stopped shopping for me and I changed my focus to looking for others. I looked at the silk ties for Jerry for work, I looked at the jewellery for my friends and lo and behold I found a great necklace for someone special. I paid $10 for it and know they will love it. It goes away into the box of Xmas presents. I know she will love it and use it and so it won't be considered clutter.
Is this a successful outcome? Hmmm don't know. But what I do know is I had a great opportunity to see my 'addiction' in action. AND how easily Jerry and I collude around consumerism. I also discovered that I don't NEED anything. There was nothing I really needed from that visit. This was a great discovery of reality.
This blog and my commitment to myself to sail this journey for a year is paying me back big time. I expect by the end of the year I won't recognise myself... a common experience over the last 15 years.
Cheers from Deb (still learning on the path)
What came in - 3 items
Op Shop buys: Jerry: 1 shirt and 1 tie / Deb: 1 necklace (Xmas pressie for someone special)
What went out - 3 items
A picture frame I have had for over 20 years and never used, a pair of shoes and a set of paper tabs.
Woohoo!!! We have hit 800 gone-ski items.
INSIGHTS
(1) No matter what we think, say or do, we have the opportunity to learn.
(2) I don't need any 'stuff'
TOTAL: OUT - 800 IN - 115
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
With the digital world changing how we get our information, storage becomes the new bookshelf.
What Books Do I Keep?
Today I was looking at our book cases. I love the look and feel of books. They add warmth to the home and each one holds wisdom and adventure. So what will this look like in 5 years time? What about in 20 years? Will we be all fully online for everything? Then what will happen to all the books in the world?
My thoughts around this involves the constant shifting of storage types. I mean one upon a time we recorded digital media on tape drives, then floppy drives, then CDs, DVDs and now hard drives. Will there come a day when my hard drive will no longer be read by the device and programs I have. Then what? We are already looking at recorded media at our house that is likely not to be read. I have videos of me playing touch football 20 years ago that may no longer play.
Books on the other hand last as long as the paper (based on weather conditions etc). Stories in those books enable us to know cultures, people and events. The cultures we know little about are the ones that have not recorded their stories.
This tells me how little we really know. Makes me see the power of intuition and the travel across all time and space we can do by sitting in stillness to connect with that which we don't know.
So what will we do with our books? I don't know.
For now, I ended up finding 4 books I bought when pregnant that showed you how to unleash your child's genius. They are amazing books. One in particular came from the US and cost (wait for it) $140 to ship. The book was only $15. (clearly I am not over that!!)
From these books, I made a lot of props to support the stimulation of my gorgeous daughters genius. She was reading before she could speak.
So now it is time to get rid of them and the props. I will definitely be putting these on the 'for sale' pile.
As for the rest of the books... not sure what we are going to do with them. Time will tell.
Cheers from Deb (perplexed by the info storage challenges of the future)
What went out - 4 items
Books
What came in - 0 items
Nothing again... (big fat silly smile)
INSIGHTS
(1) The world is in a constant state of flux... changing with it enables growth
(2) It is not the book itself, it is the insights one gets when reading them, that creates value
TOTAL: OUT - 796 IN - 76
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
A quick look in my pile of jeans and pants and I find 3 gone-ski items.
Being tired and late causes consumer fever
Yesterday we had an appointment in North Sydney that finished at 7:30 pm. Jerry had to get up at 3 am for a film shoot and we were still 2 hours from home with no dinner in sight. Consumer alert!
We caught a cab to the station looking for a quick bite to eat...and there it was, an Italian restaurant with our name all over it. Both of us were tired, hungry and over the day. The perfect recipe for impulse consumerism.
We enjoy a pizza, a salad and a couple of glasses of wine. $60 later we were on our way home to bed.
How do I feel about that? Well, mixed feelings but the most important thing is it shines a light on our 'late to bed habits' and 'poor planning'. This is something within our control and good to see so clearly.
One of Steven Covey's 7 habits (of Highly Effective People) is 'sharpen the saw'. This means take the time to set yourself up for success. Prepare your tools, plan well, organise and action that which is important. It's a bit like painting, all the work and value is in the preparation...the painting is the icing on the cake.
We need to plan better, sleep more and look after our overall needs consciously.
This journey gives so much more to the whole of our lives than expected.
Cheers from Deb (the garlic breath adventurer)
What went out - 3 items
Pants that need to be set free...bye, bye.
What came in - 0 items
Doing a happy dance.
INSIGHTS
(1) Our home made pizzas are way better than a hurried Italian on a Thursday night
(2) Down time is as important than action. Doing either half hearted will hold you back
TOTAL: OUT - 781 IN - 68
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48
Come on people...let's not get sucked into this: 'I know he loves me! He bought me a beautifully wrapped box of paraffin with artificial colours and flavours'... !!
Stupid is as cupid does
Valentines Day is a myth perpetuated by the retail industry to wake us up from the consumer hibernation after the post Christmas sales. We are jolted into a sense of panic of not buying 'just the right thing' for those we love.
The store displays and advertising generate a frenzy and intimate the more we spend, the more loving and romantic we are.
Does it guarantee love? Does it express the true message of our hearts? Does it mean we are good people?
What it does mean is there are more useless pieces of clutter, made in factories by people paid way too little, destined for the rubbish tip, and certain to keep people distracted from the true passions of the heart. In essence this false love burst is a reflection of the consumer collaboration keeping us from authentic living.
Choose carefully how you express your love this year. Keep it real.
What went out - 2 items
Jerry tossed out two (old) pairs of shorts
What came in - 0 items
Nothing
INSIGHTS
(1) We are all on a commercial calendar programmed to spend
(2) Many families (in the retail industry) rely on this calendar to feed their families. Deconstructing this entangled co-dependency needs to happen... considering all sides is important
TOTAL: OUT - 763 IN - 66
TOTAL CASH sales from gone-ski items = $48 (one more sale yesterday)
I wonder if this is getting boring. Items in, items out... (yawn).
Two purchases. But what's missing?
We picked up our new toaster and kettle...and they rock! And we didn't need the thrill of the rush, the carefree, hair blowing in the wind, rush that you get when you grab a bargain! It is a false high, a gratification that demands more and more and more!
It is a drug and I know I have been smoking that shit for a while now. Giving it up has been pretty easy which makes me wonder whether the addiction will go underground. They all do, don't they?
Will I find other ways of distracting myself from life? Or will I sit in the void and continue the journey back to my old self.
Door number 1: blood rushing, the thrill of the chase...see it's exciting!
or...
Door number 2: stillness, heart beating and energetic connection with everything around me.
or..
Door number 3: absolutely no idea... perfect! I choose door number 3.
What came in - 2 items
Our new toaster and kettle
What went out - 3 items
2 pairs of socks and a toaster which is going to my ex hubby
INSIGHTS
(1) It's just a game, play full out
(2) There are more doors than you know
TOTAL: OUT - 745 IN - 66
Today we watched a video about 'the story of stuff'. We had seen this a few years ago but today it landed big time... we all sat here talking about things we could do.
It doesn't getting any more real than this
I asked Sammi (12 years old) how she felt after watching this movie.. she said "sad, annoyed and cranky at the people who've made this happen". I said "what do you think we should do about it?" She said "let's recycle, make compost and a vegie garden, shop less and make good choices if we do shop...and become a non-consumer. She said "the last three are already ticked off...we are doing this now".
She was clearly shaken by seeing the unsustainable system which kicked off in the 1950's. We have all been sucked into the vortex of this machine. BTW there are no winners. Sure the fat cats are making the big money now... but it is only short term satisfaction... and it simply cannot last!
These corporates are going to lose eventually... quality of life, family, health, connection etc. Then what?
Click here to watch the STORY OF STUFF video
We can reclaim happiness and connection right now
We made the choice 38 day ago to undo that which we have entangled ourselves in. We have become dedicated to the truth of this and are slowly but surely shifting all aspects of consumerism in our lives.
The end result is we are spending less, and enjoying more quality time with friends, family and our hearts passions.
Yesterday we went shopping - can you believe it!!
We went to the shopping mall to go to the movies. This is a family (weekly) event given it is my husbands craft and something we enjoy together. We saw 'The Theory of Everything'. It was another reminder of the important things in life.
We didn't impulse buy anything. Yay us!!
We got out our online wish-lists and bought a few items on the top of the lists.
Sammi - an umbrella, twisty towels for her wet hair.
Deb - herbal tea canister (and some tea)
Jerry - coat hangers (wooden), 2 x tea cups (as we only had 2 in the house).
We did however stumble across a good reminder of this crazy consumer world. The video 'Confession of a SHOPAHOLIC' caught our eye and we all laughed.
Just look at the STUFF on the shelves behind me... OMG!! It now makes me feel sick and overwhelmed looking at it. Thank goodness we are turning this thing around.
What went out - 32 items
Old plastic coat- hangers and some baby wooden coat-hangers (we will pass these on), and some junk from Sammi's room (yes more).
What came in - 15 items
13 items from our wish-list plus two hand driven torches from a friend which tick off an item from Jerry's wish-list.
INSIGHTS
(1) We are part of a system and don't know it.
(2) The system thrives as long as we remain unconscious
(3) The current consumer system is unsustainable and therefore terminal
(4) We need a new system... let's create it together
TOTAL: OUT - 740 IN - 64
There is no way I would have realised how much this ghastly consumerism costs me without looking at the numbers.
We reduced our impulse spends by 85% and saved over $1000. We Rock!
What do our bank accounts tell me?
We looked at our bank accounts from last year and the impulse buys stood out like big hot steaming turds. It was sickening to see how many things we bought from impulse....we were the marketers dream couple. Drawn in by the shiny, sparkling signs and juiced up by the 'bargains' we found.
It's a scam people!!
Browsing our bank accounts showed that most of the non-necessity spending was impulse buys.
We both had colluded on this unconscious way of living...and we are darn glad it has stopped!!
Here are the impulse spends that jumped off the bank statements:
- dinners out (always impulsive, never planned)
- clothes shopping (never planned)
- op shopping (no predetermine plan to buy)
- DVDs (no real plan to buy until we passed the store)
- Nights out after work (mostly alcohol costs)
In January 2014 we spent $1195 on impulse consumerism!! How stupid is that?
This year we spent only $185 with two dinners, one night after work, 2 DVDs and a quick bite before the movies being all we spent. Although these have been considered impulse buys, all but the DVDs were discussed well before the decision was made to spend.
Being in the business improvement industry, I love data. The numbers tell you the truth. The data tells me that things are shifting big time for our family and it is all because we made a decision....here it is.
DECISION: To let go of the false relationship and compulsive need (addiction) from the consumer culture I have happily, if unconsciously colluded with. To experience myself, others and life via a relationship built on connection, creating and discovery.
This decision has changed our lives!
What went out - 2 items
Two more coats left the building. One watermelon coat I have only worn once and one 1960 coat I have worn twice. Both really nice....but no longer considered part of the family.
What came in - 0 items
It is wonderful to have nothing coming in
INSIGHTS
(1) Ignorance may be bliss, but consciousness is empowering
(2) I have gained so much more than money from this shift
TOTAL: OUT - 627 IN - 49
I was wandering around the house trying to find the next place of focus. I looked up above the pantry in the kitchen....BAM!!
How long have you been there hidden in plain sight? LOL
There were 4 empty wine and beer glass boxes. Now I could argue that I may need them one day to pack up and move, or take them on a picnic, or some other reason to keep them. But the honest truth is, I may never use those boxes again... and all they will ever do is sit there and take up space and create an eyesore. Gone-ski!!
So is keeping the boxes about saving? Saving waste, saving the environment by preventing having to buy another one, saving time by having it available now etc.
Where is the line between useful saving and hoarding where the cost of keeping outweighs the value of letting go?
This is a trap for us all in one way or another. Hoarding (I believe) is the 'need' to keep...just in case. Our 'just in case' reasons are unique to us.
Here's a question:
Does this item constrain me, prevent my freedom, invade our space, take time but give little back, demand energy or distract me from my passions?
or
Does this item expand me, enable my freedom, add to my passion, bring joy to our space, enable a better future, inspire us etc?
It's interesting that is happening at this time of life as I watch my parents having to consider down-sizing. What do they do with all the 'stuff' they have accumulated?
Interesting!
What went out - 4 items
4 wine glass boxes. Aren't they funny things to keep.
What came in - 0 items
Doing great on this now.
INSIGHTS
(1) There are things that have been there all along that I cannot see (as in life)
(2) I don't really NEED much
TOTAL: OUT - 609 IN - 48
It was my birthday today. The rain insisted we cancel the beach dinner party we had planned... and we didn't fancy organising the house for 20+ guests for dinner and drinks, so we just called it off in the spirit of 'ease and grace'.
This enabled me to open up to a new day of opportunities to celebrate.
The Gift of Time
I had the day off work, Sammi was on her last day of school holidays (starting high school tomorrow), Jerry had to go into the office and so Sammi and I decided to just chill out at home, letting the day unfold on it's own.
A Facebook message from a friend came in suggesting a café catchup for lunch. Perfect!! She had a place in mind with soul-full food that she had heard was great.
The food was spectacular, the ambiance was terrible; on a foot-path, on a main road, on a damp, rainy day... but it was the best lunch ever!
We shared more of ourselves in that three hours than we had had the chance to since meeting years ago. We laughed, cried, shared insights and our hearts. Most of all, we shared compassion and understanding for the really tough journey we had been on.
My heart just melted.
Caroline bought us lunch as a gift... but we both knew the real gift was the moments shared.
Juicy conversation
Next a text arrived from my beautiful friend Maree... yay! We met at a café and enjoyed a fresh juice while we caught up. It was just perfect. Another gift of time and connection.
Dinner and PRESENTS!!
We got home in time to greet Jerry home from work. We settled in for the night creating a simple dinner of vegetarian, make it yourself, wraps!! My favourite 'easy' meal. Steve (Ex hubby) joined us.
The celebrations began...and out came the presents. OH NO!!!
Steve proudly presented his WRAPPED bottles of wine and a CARD. We laughed. He was so proud of his purchase because it was something we could use, that would not clutter. It then dawned on him that the wrapping and card were the joke.
Sammi then presented her gift in the store bag... some earrings...yay! I then held her hand and said... now give me your card from your heart. She looked deep into my eyes and shared her feelings with me... it was gorgeous!
Now that's a heart-card.
Jerry then gave me my second present of the day (the first was a beautiful silver and turquoise pendant), a mobile charging unit.... yippee!! I loved it. I always steal his when out and about. It holds enough charge for 5 iPhones. Oh yeah!!
Oh, and it was in an old gift box (recycled). I loved that he did that!
He then spoke his heart-card... gorgeous!
But wait there's more...
Then he comes back into the room with another present...WTF!! Lucky me. It was in the store wrapping (yay) and was from IKOU - the organic goodies I buy. Yay...no clutter. It had a candle, some massage oil and a loufa.
We had a great night... relaxed, loving and full.
What went out - 11 items
I went through my belts drawer and put 11 in the donation box.
What came in - 5 items
My turquoise necklace, the loufa, the bag the IKOU goodies came in, the charging pack, and the earrings.
.
INSIGHTS
(1) Moments are the greatest gift of all
(2) When I open up to connection... the world connects
TOTAL: OUT - 586 IN - 48
It started out as a simple task, to cull our 12 years old daughters clothes... as you do.
When we stopped last night (half way through) I felt terrible. I realised the cost of all of this stuff...and I am not talking about the money.
What does consumerism really cost?
When I sat down and explored how I was feeling I could see (and feel) the costs involved:
- The time it took us to earn the money we would spend on the clothes
- The cost of going shopping - petrol, the food we would buy while out etc
- The time it took to go find the clothes
- The time it takes sorting the clothes into the wardrobe
- The time it takes to cull the clothes out of the wardrobe
- The cost of the clothes - thank goodness we op shop
- The cost of manufacturing - perhaps some are through exploitive arrangements
- The cost of the carbon footprint
- The energetic cost of the clutter
- The time it takes to dispose - into the rubbish, donating or driving to give away
- The cost to the planet generating and transporting the raw materials
And I bet there are plenty more costs involved.
My first reaction to this awareness was absolute overwhelm. I felt agitated and sad about the costs involved especially the financial and time costs to our family.
The gift of this awareness is invaluable. We will certainly redirect the dollars and time into truer aspirations and enable our passions through thoughtful actions.
I see us creating experiences with our family, friends and others rather than playing this consumer game.
Being conscious about the use of our time and money is a gift. But it did take me a bit of time to grasp the damage that has been caused, and have it all sink in. Once it did, I felt totally shaken!!
This was a painful epiphany... a shock to my reality. I had to honestly own that I was the cause... that my unconscious and poor decision making has cost us dearly.
Don't beat yourself up
There are two options: To judge yourself and get depressed by the past OR to redirect the energy into creating a better future.
It's obvious. As we become aware we make better choices. We all make mistakes, this is how we grow. I am not interested in hiding my mistakes, sugar coating the truth or spending time regretting the past... it is fruitless.
I am committed to learning more about myself, bringing my heart into the world as best I can, and luxuriating in the connections and experiences of life.
This lesson continues the journey.
What went out - 55 items
We culled 55 pieces of clothing... some had not ever been worn! We found some great pieces she can wear now that had been hidden amongst the masses.
What came in - 0 items
Keeping it lean...nothing in.
INSIGHTS
(1) The collective costs of consumerism is higher than we could imagine
(2) When you have too many clothes you cannot see any of them
TOTAL: OUT - 484 IN - 30
