When we decided to fight against the tide of
consumerism we realised we needed a few tools to do so. One is a wish list.
We instigated using wish lists when the children
were young and perpetually asking us for “stuff” when we went out shopping. We
soon came to realise how useful they were for ourselves too. Instead of buying
things compulsively, we only buy things that are on the “wish list”. An item
has to be on the wish list for at least a week. This avoids spontaneous
purchases, especially the “not to be missed” offers and sales.
So what goes on the wish list and how do we decide
what to buy from what is on it? Well, anything can go on the wish list.
Sometimes we start by brainstorming at home or we make lists when we go out. I
only write down what I can remember when I get home. It is amazing how much I
simply forget after an hour or two, so obviously didn’t really want! We find it
is also useful to put an approximate price to things to help with planning.
When assessing a list we try to consider how the
things on the list will contribute towards our life choices. Often they don’t.
An easy example could be a life choice of travel versus a desire for a pet such
as a dog. The solution may be to move the item to the bottom of the list,
or remove it. But what if this “wish” is speaking to another part of your soul?
Well in those cases a compromise is likely to present itself, such as fostering
a pet.
Another thing to consider is whether the wish is a
need, a pure want or somewhere in between.
Example Wish-List
This is my daughter’s wish list from last year,
with my notes:
- Backpack / day pack (practical need)
- Small umbrella (practical need)
- I phone cover (doesn’t like current one;
not a high priority)
- Design by Humans T-shirts (special
clothing beyond absolute need)
- Diana Wynne Jones Books (she has read
all these but WANTS own collection of favourite Author’s work)
- Tumble Turner –Composter (practical and
furthers desire to have a flourishing vegetable garden)
- Book with bird photos (alternative
source of images found)
- Wreck this journal (decided she no
longer wanted this fun way of recording a year)
- Steam punk beads (furthers artistic
endeavours)
- Stabilo Pens 20 pack (available but
expensive except when on promotion: prepared to wait)
- Hair dryer (practical, especially given
her very long hair)
- Kayak (furthers desire for more exercise
but is expensive and may not be used)
We use this list to help plan for presents and
to make decisions on how her income from baby-sitting will be used. While this
wish list is entirely items to purchase, our son's list included expensive
experiences such as major camps or outings. We have found that it helps to plan
how to make experiences happen and just like “things”, experiences can make
excellent birthday gifts.
Many personal wishes, either items or experiences,
are gifted for birthdays or Christmas. We discuss family wishes and try to make
them happen as part of a year plan. About this time of year out comes the year
planner and in go dates and events. This triggers a lot of discussion about how
to make it happen, what is realistic and whose turn is it to decide. We have
two acquisitive kids and two non acquisitive kids which is an interesting mix
when trying to decide what is fair.
Wish lists are now part of our life and most
effective in achieving our aims, without giving in to consumerism.
How you could fund the wish-list
Both older kids now have their own income and
budget for the wishes we don’t provide. They are expected to put some money in
the bank EVERY month for long term savings goals. Our son needs to contribute
$500 towards a scout camp he wants to attend in 2016 and wants to buy a $600
camera, which we’ll only partly fund because we believe that if he’s worked
towards it he will appreciate it more and look after it.
We used to
give the kids regular pocket money and still think this is great to do. Ideally
it would be at least $5 a week, probably at least $10 for a 10 year old. If
it’s less than a note we have found that all it gets spent on is lollies.
We have found it helps children budget and focus on
what they want. Perhaps you could give pocket money as a substitute for
regularly going out to a café. This means that IF you want to go out to a café
your children are also involved in the choice. They decide whether to spend
their money on the outing or indeed whether to treat you! Is it on their wish
list? It has been really lovely when my daughter has taken me out to the café,
but it’s a rare thing. More commonly she will “treat” by going to the shops,
buying special ingredients and doing a bake up for the whole family.
Planning for wish-list purchases
Guy and I try to plan our wishes budget in a
similar light. When we first got married our wish list was huge as we shared
our dreams and vision for the future. Each year it has been modified and
refined as things have been achieved and our wishes have matured. (We have
sometimes taken out those firsts lists and had a giggle.) Frequently, the bigger
targets take extreme determination to achieve. It was four years and a tax
return before we could tick off “solar panels” from the wish list. Each month
we try to budget for a little pocket money or discretionary spending. Often it
is as little as $50 each, but as cash in hand it is a powerful thing when held
in conjunction with a wish list!
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