Day 19: Dinner Out Disaster

A sure recipe for consumerism is living an unbalanced life. Getting up at 2:45 am because we couldn't sleep made for a long day. Add to that a busy schedule, a pile of washing up on the sink and the desire to have an early night led us to a decision to go out for dinner. 

Impulsive? I am thinking, yes! 

The reason I know this is because of how I felt on the way home afterwards. As we jumped in the car to go home I asked Jerry "how much was dinner?" He replied "sixty dollars". WHAT!?! I was shocked. A small starter, 3 dishes, and an orange juice. Add to that the bottle of wine we bought on the way and you have a $70 impulse buy. 

Did we 'need' to go? Did we 'have' to go? Or did we plain and simply 'want' to go? 

This decision was made unconsciously and was based on circumstances. Living life in reaction to circumstance has cost us in more ways than expected. We stuffed up! And we both colluded in this decision beautifully.  

It is not only the $70 but it is the realisation of the many, many times we have done this without even thinking, without ever considering the impact of the expenditure. 

I put this down to a lesson learnt. For me, 2015 is the year for conscious choices around consumerism. My reaction to this impulsive choice is insightful. I could easily rationalise it but I would be bullshitting me and bullshitting you. This is a 'no bullshit' blog and so let's suck it up and own it... and learn from it. 

Awareness is a grand thing. It is through awareness that great change occurs. There are two ways to go with this: (1) to feel shame and guilt or (2) to own it without judgement and learn from it. I don't really do the shame thing...and so owning it without judgement, is the way to go. 

What went out - 2 items

Two pairs of jeans from Miss Sammi's room (will put in clothes offerings for friends kids)

What came in - 0 items

Nothing came in. I have noticed I have no desire to go to the shops. Big change. 

INSIGHTS

(1) Collusion makes poor choices, easy!
(2) A clean kitchen is more important than you think. Not dealing with the basics, not completing on responsibilities and letting things slide, adds up. Eventually something will give. It takes commitment to the 'not so fun' jobs that enables greater enjoyment and freedom in other areas.   


TOTAL: OUT - 409   IN - 28

  

Day 18: How Many Sunglasses Do You Need?

This game is hilarious. Each day I am focussing on a particular area of the house.

Today's focus was the drawer in the cabinet near the front door. You know the one, full of keys, sun glasses and other mindless crap thrown in there as we enter the house. 

Out went 4 pairs of sun glasses, one of them Sammi's when she was much younger. Not a lot I know but it was the pile of receipts and bits of rubbish that was the annoying part. Lately I have not been asking for or taking receipts when out grocery shopping. This means I only walk into the house with the food and not the clutter... saves paper and carbon footprint too.

The old saying 'count the pennies and the pounds count themselves' is really hitting home at the moment. As we work on the small parts of life, the rest starts shaping up. Not only are we cleansing our home of clutter and jumping off the consumer train, we are looking at other areas of our life and making better decisions aligned to our hearts and minds.

 

How about Thai for dinner?

In the morning we considered our Sunday activities and discussed the potential for going to the movies and/or going out for dinner to our favourite Thai restaurant. It was great considering these decision early without the chance of impulse decisions later.

We couldn't decide. Interesting. And didn't make a clear decision. Instead we got about our day ending up at Terrigal Beach enjoying the sun and surf. We also took the opportunity to scope out the area for my birthday gathering I am planning. 

At the end of the afternoon Sammi asked for Fish and Chips as a snack. This is not a normal request from her. In fact she rarely asks for take away or makes demands on needing food. So we thought about our earlier considerations about going out for dinner and even tossed around the idea of going for Mexican (which we love) but realised this would now be impulsive. Instead we took Sammi for a small fish and chips with the plan to go home and enjoy the home-cooked pasta we had ready to go. 

Brilliant decision! The cost of the day was $7 on fish and chips, $4.20 on some fruit we bought on the way to the beach. Yay us!!   

What went out - 5 items

4 pairs of sunglasses, a useless old house alarm key and a big pile of paper waste.

 

What came in - 0 items

Nothings other than food

INSIGHTS

(1) When compelled to spend money on 'consumer' items (dinner out included) it is simply addictive behaviour
(2) Saying yes to uncommon requests as often as you can, when not a high expense, is a lovely thing to do for your kids  


TOTAL: OUT - 407   IN - 28

Day 16: 'Stuff' All' (over the place)

Terribly slack day on the journey... only could be bothered grabbing one thing and tossing it in the bin. Wait for it... so exciting... not! Oh gosh, this is truly hilarious that I had this sitting in the bathroom cabinet. I wonder how many other folks hold on to the same kind of things.

I kept this empty bottle with a pump top (very fancy brand organic oil) for about 6 months now. I was hoping I could refill it. But prior to Christmas I found out they don't sell large bottle of it and so I bought myself a new one but for some silly reason didn't throw out the old bottle. 

What is that? What has us hold on to things like this. You know the things that sit there because one day they are going to be useful. Like empty water bottles, jars that one day will be used for something, containers that you can't seem to find the lid for. And I could go on here but I am guessing both of us would continue to feel a little squeamish if I do...so let's change the subject.  

What will we do with all this extra money and time?

I am finding that we have way more time and money now that we have served divorce papers on consumerism. 

Last night we tossed up going out for dinner however at the end we agreed it was more true to go home and eat what was already waiting for us in the fridge. So what stirred the need to go for dinner? I am guessing that it was late (about 8 pm), neither of us had the energy to cook and clean up and it was easier. 

The truth is, we both enjoyed our home-cooked meal, a glass of red and our comfy relaxed home as we communed. This was a much better option emotionally, financially and holistically. A great thing to remember when the urge appears again. 

This doesn't mean we won't go out for dinner, it just means we won't do it when it is an impulsive decision. 

So what will we do with the extra time and money? I have no answer....it will appear as this journey progresses. We are still working through our wishlists and getting them prioritised. I am certain one of the important items will emerge as the next 'truest' thing to purchase.  

What went out - 1 item

One silly little bottle I had been holding onto.

What came in - 0 items

Nothing came in mainly because we are not engaged in consumer zombie like behavior

INSIGHTS

(1) Impulses demand now decisions and actions. Delaying the decision enables a better view of what is true to do
(2) Energy (money, time, love, action), consciously placed, brings incredible results

TOTAL: OUT - 323   IN - 9

     

Day12: Pulling the Trigger on the Wish-List

A quick trip to the shops was required to pick up some pens for Miss 12 year old. We also wanted to get Jerry a tea cup as we are both drinking tea now more than coffee and we only have one tea cup...LOL And yes, both items are on our wish lists. First wish-list purchases.

While we were out and about Sammi wanted to show me the curved screen TV. We made a conscious choice not to go through the '3 blue-ray DVDs for $30' bin, nor look at any iPhone accessories, or other very tempting techie stuff. It was easy once we made the choice. The TV was ok and interesting but that was about it.

Then as we passed the travel agents shop front I remembered our wish-list adventures we have been dreaming up. So I went in and grabbed two brochures for Tasmania and Romantic Getaways. Good for me, no expenditure and starting to fuel our heart choices.

Then off we went... SUDDENLY it dawns on me that these two brochures, that we are surely to flick through and throw out are clutter!! BUSTED!! So we walked back to the store and put them back on the very colourful, glossy covered, 'take me' shelf. And out we went proud as punch that we had once again avoided the consumer game we are playing on ourselves. 

On the way home Sammi and I calculated how much we saved by not impulse buying things like take-away food etc. It added up to $60.50. How about that.

What went out - 3 items

How many candle holders do you really need? A quick look in the candle cupboard and consumer pennies start dropping everywhere. So out go 3 candle holders we have NEVER used.

What came in - 5 items

4 pens from Sammi's wish-list and 1 tea cup from Jerry's wish-list.

INSIGHTS
(1) Anything I bring into our home or into our lives has to enhance it or move us closer to our choices. Otherwise it is clutter.
(2) Every decision NOT to buy something is taking us forward.

TOTAL: OUT - 307   IN - 9

Day 10: Birthday (Wallet) Bash

I totally busted myself in the consumer trance again. It was hilarious! And the funny thing was I didn't know I was in it until I was away from it. Boy this journey is insightful. Here's what happened....  

Birthday Dinner - Consumer ALERT woot, woot, woot!

We are planning a birthday dinner for yours truly. We walked around Terrigal yesterday and looked at a few places, grabbed some menus and made a tentative booking at two places. 



I got home and took a bath as my back had been sore all day. Sammi and I reviewed the menus whilst in the bath when it dawned on me.

WTF was I thinking!!!

This is not true to do, nor it is in line with what I really choose or want. Woohoo!!

So instead we are cooking up an BYO BBQ at Terrigal Haven. The cost will be heavily reduced. Instead of $60 to $80 plus alcohol costs it should be far less and we will enjoy more.

So over the next few days I will whip up an invite for my good buddies and see if they want to join us for an afternoon/evening of good food, great friends, maybe some games and most importantly, connection.

The interesting thing is to position the present thing so that folks don't give me 'stuff'. Keep you posted as I come up with the best way to say it on the invite.

Wish-List Time (for the family)

Yesterday we spent time on our wish-list. We started with the items for the house. There are many things we need, want and would love. It is interesting sitting around with the family with a lovely cup of tea brainstorming items on the list.

We took it in turn. Sammi wanted her wall painted purple and her room painted like the spare room, Jerry wanted a new stove top, I wanted a new front door. We kept going until we had exhausted our ideas. The list is large but functional. Next weekend we will spend time prioritising it. What will we work towards first. This should be a fun session. May need more than tea to get through this...LOL.

Next we will work on the list of things we would like to do, see, explore. E.G. holidays, weekend bushwalks, movies etc. This will be loads of fun.

What Went Out - 1 Item

Jerry put a desk trinket in the gone-ski box. It was a present however it was never his thing. It doesn't devalue the love of the gifting, it is just not true to keep a gift that is not something you love.

What Came In - 0 Items

Doing well here. We are very conscious about what comes into our lives.
 

INSIGHTS

(1) When you put your guiding principals first, your imagination will find the truest solution
(2) Connecting is a natural human state and we all want and love it
 

2015 TOTAL: OUT - 296   IN - 4 

Day 7: The Shopping Centre Seduction

Today I took a break and ventured out into the central business district of Sydney. It was amazing how my perspective has changed. I was perplexed by all the activity, crazy energy and disconnection from what really matters.

I recognised this so well because it has been a big part of my ego for so long. And I am guessing it will not disappear without a bit of a fight.

I went to the ATM to get some cash for lunch. I walked over to  Market City (a small shopping centre near Central Station). As soon as my eyes took in the lights, colours, sounds and 'for sale' signs, I instantly had the urge to shop. WHAT!!??

How quickly the cellular memory kicks in and the 'let's buy it' addictive consumer tries to wrestle the steering wheel away from my 'no thanks' clever consumer. I felt it, I recognised it and I re-focussed my energy back to the only reason I was there... to grab a healthy quick lunch. And that is exactly what I did. Yay me!!

 

Here are a few things to know about Shopping Centres:

• They are set up architecturally to disorientate you. The entrance is often simple and pleasant before you interact with the bling, bang and cha-ching of the mall
• There are no clocks
• There are no views of the outside world
• The lighting, reflective floor and noise are designed to get you into stores
• All specials and impulse buys are immediately to your right as you enter a store
• Commonly purchased items are positioned in the back of the stores in different areas to make you move around and impulse buy more
• Escalators are positioned to ensure you move past as many stores as possible
• There is plenty of food so you can fill up and stick around    

Ikea are the masters of manipulation as they ensure you interact with full rooms and disorientate you through their maze with a pretty good chance you will buy loads of smaller, cheaper items as you move through. The outcome is generally 60% more items are purchased than what you intended to buy. Clever aren't they?

 

What went out - 11 items

I went through the draws in our bedroom where all my tops, t-shirts and cardigans live. I found items I have put on many times but always tend to take them off. They are in great condition, love the colours but never wear them. Gone-ski!! 

 

What came in - 0 items

Nothing came in to our home and I am starting to FEEL AMAZING about this. I am very aware of how this changing the way I live life. An unfolding of a new way to be in life. Love it!!

 

Insights

(1) If I am going to out to consciously buy I need to put on my game face and stay focussed.
(2) There are heaps of things in our house we simply don't use.
(3) There is no rush to de-cluttering and becoming a conscious consumer. I am happy to take my time and make this a new behaviour and way of thinking.

 

TOTAL: OUT - 174   IN - 4

Day 5: A Chardy in a Cardie

We decided to go to the movies... something we don’t do enough especially this is Jerry’s craft and passion, It is almost criminal that we don’t go more regularly to see something new and inspiring.

Anyway we both wanted to see Interstellar. The only session remaining was tonight at 6pm in the city, so we decided to go. On our way there we looked for food prior to the movie. We ordered a small meal and a glass of wine each. Seems innocent right?

 

It was scary how quickly I answered Jerry when he said “want a wine?”. Before my ‘I’m cutting back, good angel’ stepped in my ‘bring it on!!, seriously saucy, bad deb’ said “you bet, I’ll have a chardy”. Well, $40 later and not yet at the movies I realised how out of alignment this was. Brilliant! Note to self… WTF!!! Time to develop some personal principles. More on that later.

 

Wish-List to hold back the impulse buying

We spoke about the wish-list idea (guest blog coming very soon) and decided to explore it in its full glory. On the way home on the train I sat down and started creating my wish-list. How bazaar, I had trouble thinking of things I needed, wanted or would love to experience. I came up with a few things but in essence there was not much I yearned for….but get me in the shops and I can drain an account in no time. Crazy!

 

What went out - 4 items

Only a quick cull tonight as I needed to go to bed for an early start. So we hit the DVD cabinet and took out a few more we will not watch again.

What came in – 0 items

Again nothing. I wonder how many days this will last.
 

Insights

(1)    We can be smarter with our eating out. Need to plan in advance and take food with us.
(2)    Wine is a real escape for me…and I really don’t choose to have it, I just do.

TOTAL: OUT - 158   IN - 0

Day 4: EnLISTing Our Friends

Interesting how supportive everyone is of this journey. And how open they are to understanding about all aspects. I wish I was as understanding. I am experiencing a whole host of emotions, I am embarrassed, shamed, relieved, joyous, still, in wonderment of the future and clear that the scam I have pulled on myself is no longer valid.



Sammi deciding it is time to participate

It is clear that everyone has value to add to this journey. One friend described her 'wish-list' concept they use to determine purchases. I loved it so much I asked her to write an article for this blog. Keep your eye out for this article...you will feel her heart in it...coming soon!

The big surprise of the day was Sammi (my daughter) asking me to help her clear out some stuff in her room. She wants to participate in this experience too. She wants to firstly go through her toys. Her decision criteria is: 

• KEEPING - heart felt toys with a deep meaning for her e.g. her special sleeping soft toy called Sheepie (BTW Sheepie is a pig... we laughed out loud when we wrote this).
• GONE-SKI - childish and things she doesn't use any more such as Barbies and little plastic models etc.

What went out - 110 items

9 CDs - In plain sight under the TV has been a cane box full of CDs. Most I have downloaded to my iTunes. They have become todays gone-ski target. It is time for some of them to go. Instead of going through ALL of them like a crazed banshee we just grabbed a handful and cleared out the ones we no longer need/want.  

101 Toys - (54 in the trash, 31 to the op shop, 14 to give to younger friends). It was magical moment watching Sammi going through 2 small boxes of toys in her shelves. We laughed at so many of the things she's kept over the years. Secretly I was in awe of her awakening this part of herself. She is amazing.

What came in - 0 items

What can I say... nothing has made it's way into our home yet. It has been 4 days and so far no desire to go to the shops.

Last minute 'oh no we have no milk!!!'...needed to go to the shops. So instead of the normal just go without conscious intent, we all sat down and put a list together of things we really need. The trip to the shops went like clockwork... we got home with only the items on the list... and didn't forget the milk!! LOL.  

There has been a shift.

 

What we wasted - nothing

It felt like there was going to be more food waste from the fridge however some friends dropped by and the old crappy carrots went home to their guinea pigs and the over-ripe bananas are soon to be muffins. Perfect! 

I also found myself cooking things from the fridge I would normally not reach for. So it appears I am now conscious of using the food we have rather than meeting my childlike needs....you know the ones "but I want it now...I don't want that, I want this!"
 

Insights

(1) There is nothing that needs to be wasted. All consumables can be used... if not I can learn not to buy them in future. 

(2) I am a role model for my daughter. She will learn how to 'be' from the actions I take. This journey is also 'giving' to her. 

 

TOTAL: OUT - 154   IN - 0

Day 3: A Waste of Thyme

Oh dear, I cleaned out the fridge after our Christmas and New Year feasting and found so many foods we need to throw out.

It has become apparent this consumer train I am driving includes the wasted foods we are not enjoying through our bodies. The more I explore this part of my life the more I realise how desensitised I have been to this self created unsustainable model.

On a lighter side, I commenced my journey to learn to play piano so I can write the music to some lyrics I wrote back in 2012. My 12 year old daughter (who plays) is teaching me. It was fun doing scales and learning to play children's songs.  

What went out - 2 items

Found a candle that is scented and will never be used by us. We love candles but prefer non scented ones. I think I will drop this at the op shop. 

We also returned a throw rug that we borrowed from a friend.

What came in - 1 0 items

My ex dropped by and showed us two coffee bean sacks he was given by a friend. He said he got one for us. We had a few wines and so we didn't question it at the time. The next morning I woke up aware that this sack was NOT true for us to have and no sooner had it arrived, would it be walked out the door.

I called Steve (ex) and asked him to grab it next time he drops by. He said "yeah, I thought it was odd that you took it given your current blog on consumerism".

What we wasted

I feel sick as I write this, but I have to share the truth... here are the foods I had to throw out.

5 bananas, 2 servings of homemade lasagne, 2 lemons, salad, 2 half onions, 1 bread roll, 2 strawberries, a dozen blueberries, 6 baby cucumbers, 2 half bags of spinach and rocket, and 2 bags of carrots (from my juice fast in November).

I am going to find a way to ensure we eat everything we buy...keep ya posted!

Insights

(1) I need to let our family and friends know that we prefer no more 'stuff' for gifts. This will be interesting as my mum loves to buy us 'stuff'. No trip to her place has us leave empty handed. I'm scared. 

(2) I have been totally disconnected from MY responsibilities in regards to eating the food we buy. I have a new sense of connection to the gifts of food in our fridge. 

TOTAL: OUT - 44   IN - 0